Movies are way too loud

THE GRIPE

March 17, 2006|By KEVIN COWHERD | KEVIN COWHERD,SUN REPORTER

Is it me, or is it loud in here?

I SAID IS IT ME, OR IS IT LOUD IN HERE?

YES, IN HERE! IN THE MOVIE THEATER! WHAT? YES, I KNOW IT'S ONLY THE TRAILERS.

I SAID, I KNOW IT'S ONLY THE ...

Whew. Do you have conversations like this at the movies?

I have them all the time.

At the risk of lapsing into cranky-old-guy musing, when did it get so loud at the local cineplex or multiplex or megaplex, or whatever they're calling themselves these days?

When did they start jacking the volume to eardrum-shattering levels, so that every car crash, helicopter explosion and Semtex blast makes me jump out of my seat?

Sure, I appreciate the wonder of digital surround-sound when the killer zombie attacks the innocent teens out by the lake and starts munching on their little heads.

But does it have to be so loud I feel like I'm in the zombie's thorax while it's happening?

Even everyday conversation seems overly amplified at the movies. People seem to be shouting even if they're in a restaurant ordering soup.

You remember the love scenes in Munich? When does anyone ever talk that loud after being intimate?

Pillow talk? You could hear Avner, the former Mossad agent and his wife in Egypt, they were talking so loud.

I SAID YOU COULD HEAR AVNER AND HIS WIFE IN ... oh, never mind.

I'll tell you after the movie.

kevin.cowherd@baltsun.com

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