A theory that's a real downer

A bright and cheery good morning to you, reader!

It is Monday, Jan. 23 -- the most depressing day of this year, at least according to the calculations of a British psychologist. But we're not going to fall for that, are we?

Of course not! As if Earth's collective mood -- if even there were such a thing -- could be predicted by some silly mathematical formula.

Forget the Gloomsday scenario. The day will be what we make of it, right? And if we put our minds to it, use lots of exclamation points, share cheer with our fellow man, ignore British psychologists, and pepper our messages with these :-), we can make it one of the most absolutely fantastically fabulous days ever!

For starters, let's all join in wishing the man behind the theory, British psychologist Cliff Arnall, a happy and fun-filled Monday. Feel free to drop him a Have-a-Nice-Day postcard at the Cardiff University Centre for Lifelong Learning, Senghennydd Road, Cardiff, Wales.

Arnall, a part-time tutor at the lifelong learning center, embarked on the project under the sponsorship of a travel company, and his conclusion -- big surprise! -- was that people should schedule a vacation to ward off the midwinter doldrums.

Arnall, who is quoted often in the British media on issues that have ranged from self-confidence to sleep disorders to Yoko Ono, didn't stop with his most depressing day formula. He went on to produce equations for calculating the happiest day of the year and the day we are most motivated.

But it was his most depressing day formula that took off, spread across Earth by bloggers, the news media and public relations firms.

A recent press release from a New York public relations company, for instance, refers to Jan. 24 (actually last year's most depressing day) as this year's most depressing day, noting "recent research published in Health magazine." The recent research, it turns out, was a brief item based entirely on Arnall's equation, which he was paid to come up with by Sky Travel, a British travel agency.

This is the formula:

[W + (D-d)] x TQ

--------------

M x NA

In it, "W" represents weather, usually cold and bleak this time of year. "D" is your amount of debt. The small "d," appropriately enough, is your monthly salary. "T" represents the time that has passed since Christmas and "Q" is the time that has passed since you broke your New Year's resolution. All of that is divided by "M" (low motivational levels) and "NA" (the need to take action).

The press releases by Cardiff University don't specify what numeric values to use for "T" or "Q" -- whether it should be weeks, days or hours -- but then again the equation is more theoretical than anything else. Working it out with your own figures most likely will only depress you.

Which brings us to a suggestion (more will follow) to avoid being depressed on this alleged most depressing day of the year: Don't do any math, particularly if it is connected with your checkbook.

This, as Arnall's equation takes into consideration, is the time of year when credit card bills reflecting holiday purchases pour in, making some of us realize how hopelessly overextended we are.

That alone can depress many. But add on the long dark days of winter, low temperatures, overcast skies, and things can seem even more ominous. Throw in the fact that most of us have broken our New Year's resolutions, and feel guilty about it, and we can get even more down on ourselves.

To top it all off, it's Monday.

Last year's most depressing day of the year also came on a Monday and, sure enough, on that day, stocks dropped, T-bill rates declined, two earthquakes hit parts of India and Indonesia already ravaged by the tsunami, schools in Baltimore were canceled because of snow. Lots of other miserable stuff happened. But that hardly proves anything.

This year it is going to be better -- a peach of a day. Drivers will be gracious, humans, not computers, will answer phones, bosses will be good-natured and complimentary. You will have a good hair day and, hey, by the way, have you lost some weight? Can't you just feel the joy already? No? You'll come around, and to help, here are 10 more tips for dealing with the most depressing day of the year:

1. Start with a good breakfast -- rather than eight cups of coffee and a bowl of Xanax, enjoy some hearty oatmeal, herbal tea and freshly squeezed orange juice.

2. Do something nice for someone.

3. Do something nice for you -- dress in cheery colors. Schedule a massage or a pedicure, or perhaps a relaxing trip on a cruise ship.

4. If you have stuck with your New Year's resolution, give yourself a day off. You earned it, friend. Lighten up. Skip the gym. Seek out cholesterol. If you've broken your resolution, it's OK. You tried, and you can try again next year, once you renew your gym membership. Meanwhile, consider the 11 months of dues you're paying without setting foot in the place an investment in the future.