During the Boston Red Sox's historic title run of 2004, crusty first baseman Kevin Millar was one of the ringleaders of the "bunch of idiots" who created the happy-go-lucky clubhouse chemistry that helped the team deal with the pressure of trying to overcome an 86-year world title drought.
Millar was credited with the unofficial club motto - Cowboy Up! - and became the scruffy face of the Sox, even though there were plenty of bigger stars to fill the spotlight.
The Orioles can only hope that he will have the same positive influence on their clubhouse, since they tried a variation on the "bunch of idiots" concept in 2005 and it didn't go quite so well.
Fortunately, most of the real idiots are gone. Sidney Ponson has taken his spotty driving record to St. Louis. Rafael Palmeiro is at home in Texas, though if you stop by with a television camera or a tape recorder, he will be happy to give you an exclusive interview in which he reveals that he still doesn't know how stanozolol got into his system last May. Sammy Sosa is talking contract with the Washington Nationals, but I've heard that they won't sign him unless the deal includes an incentive clause that requires him to cover all cost overruns on their new Anacostia ballpark if he fails to appear in 140 games.
No, the new Orioles clubhouse promises to be a much happier place, with the goofy Millar and the sardonic Jeff Conine, not to mention the perennially upbeat Miguel Tejada, who I am pleased to report no longer wants to be traded - at least for now.
Millar is a funny guy who will lift everyone's spirits, which probably won't be all that hard to do after last August, when things got so bad that the Maryland Stadium Authority sought approval from the FDA to sell Xanax over the counter at Oriole Park concession stands.
I have to admit, after listening to Millar for 15 minutes during yesterday's news conference at the warehouse, I was almost convinced that the Orioles are capable of competing with the Yankees, Red Sox and Blue Jays.
"You can look at teams on paper," he said, "but in spring training everybody starts out 0-0. If you can get everybody believing in the same thing, you can compete with anybody."
Of course, I jumped right on the Sammy Sosa bandwagon last year, and look where that got me, but here's the difference: Sosa demanded a limousine when an Orioles trainer tried to pick him up for his physical in a fancy pickup truck. If someone had tried to pick Millar up at his hotel in a limo, he probably would have demanded a pickup truck.
