Top 10 reasons Oprah would avoid Dave for 16 more years

November 23, 2005|By SUN REPORTERS

A former Baltimore newscaster and a former Indianapolis weatherman -- now two of television's titans -- are scheduled to face off Dec. 1 when Oprah Winfrey appears on Late Show With David Letterman, marking the end of a long icy relationship, or perhaps the beginning of a deeper freeze ahead.

The queen of daytime TV appeared on Letterman's show twice when it was on NBC, but had said she wouldn't appear again because she didn't like being the butt of his jokes, as she often is.

Dec. 1, however, is opening night for her Broadway production of The Color Purple, just across the street from the old Ed Sullivan Theater, where Letterman's show, now on CBS, is taped. Letterman announced her appearance on Monday night's show.

Over the years, Letterman has poked fun at Winfrey's weight, her wealth, her magazine, her mad cow warnings, her book club -- even her audience philanthropy. And he reportedly embarrassed her at the 1995 Oscars with his "Oprah, Uma; Uma, Oprah" introduction.

Despite all that, for whatever reason, Winfrey will for the first time in 16 1/2 years take the chair to which she vowed she would never return. Clearly, there will be some sensitivities there, which is why, as a public service, we offer these precautions.

Top Ten Questions Letterman Should Not Ask Oprah:

10. Wanna send out for some burgers?

9. Why the color purple? Why not teal?

8. Do you ever actually read any of those books?

7. Roger Ebert -- thumbs up or thumbs down?

6. Uma, Oprah and Travolta -- will we ever see them in a movie together?

5. Am I wong or are you wearing Wang?

4. Have you looked into getting Cruise control for that couch?

3. As a parting gift, we'd like to offer you this Hermes bag ... uh ... wait ... could you hold on for a second?

2. If you added up all the weight you've lost over the years, how big a town would that be?

And the No. 1 question Letterman should not ask Oprah:

Where's my free car?

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