Eagles' Owens finds himself suspended from reality again

Commentary

November 06, 2005|By PETER SCHMUCK

Haven't we reached the point where the NFL needs to institute a new drug policy and insist that the Philadelphia Eagles keep Terrell Owens medicated at all times?

The man with the hyperbaric chamber and the hyperactive mouth was at it again the other day, blasting away at the Eagles and quarterback Donovan McNabb in an interview on ESPN.com. He apologized later, but the indirect shot he took at his former favorite QB is going to be hard to take back.

T.O. said that the Eagles might be undefeated if Green Bay Packers star Brett Favre was their quarterback.

Never mind that Favre is 1-6 this year and threw five interceptions in last Sunday's game against the Cincinnati Bengals. That's not even the point. Owens has so little control over his vocal cords that he sometimes has to read the paper or do an Internet search to remember what he said.

"This is one [interview] I really regret," Owens said.

Really? More than the time he hinted during a Playboy Magazine interview that former teammate Jeff Garcia is gay? More than the time he embarrassed McNabb with his inside-the-huddle revelations about the final minutes of the Super Bowl? More than the time he insisted that aliens had stolen Andy Reid's brain and were trying to sell it on eBay?

All right, I made that last one up just to see if you're still paying attention, but it's pretty well established that the guy will say just about anything that pops into his head ... and couldn't care less how it plays on Broad Street.

Owens was suspended for behavior detrimental to the team, but what sense did that make? The best way to handle T.O. is to ignore him all week and float him the rock as many times as possible tonight.

The sad fact of the matter is, T.O. is worth the trouble. He's one of the most exciting players in the game and the 4-3 Eagles are going to have to put up with his foolishness if they want to get back to the Super Bowl.

I'm pretty sure that Reid would like to duct tape him to the goal post at Lincoln Financial Field and let the rodents get after him, but that'll have to wait at least until after the season. The Eagles have a date tonight with the rival Redskins and - if past history is any indication - Owens will find a way to steal the show, even from the sideline.

Stopped by T.O.'s Web site (terrellowens.com) yesterday, hoping for the kind of insight that you can only get from a site devoted to, well, selling a whole bunch of authorized Terrell Owens merchandize.

That's really all there is anymore. The only editorial content on the site is a salute from the staff for catching his 100th career touchdown pass, which is quite an achievement, but I was kind of hoping for a journal entry about his latest histrionics.

Guess I'll have to settle for the memory of his greatest Web gem, which was posted after Reid sent him home during training camp: "Where small men succumb, great men overcome!"

That was flat-out inspiring.

I'm getting out of the prediction business. I predicted on WBAL last week that Stanford would upset undefeated UCLA, but the Bruins came back from a 21-point deficit in the final eight minutes to stay on track for a terrific cross-town showdown against USC next month. I also went out on a limb and predicted that the Ravens would score a 24-21 victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers on Monday night.

If the Ravens offense hadn't stalled 20 yards out of field-goal range at the end, a game-winning kick by Matt Stover would have made it a 22-20 final, but close only counts in horseshoes and presidential elections.

The PGA Tour isn't making a big deal of it, but the plan for a new NASCAR-like points race has some other interesting twists. To add even more excitement, the PGA also will encourage tobacco-chewing and moonshining and begin allowing carts that can travel at speeds up to 197 miles per hour.

My favorite current headline from The Onion, the funny news source on the Internet, has nothing to do with sports, but here it is anyway:

"New custard could cause worldwide flandemic."

peter.schmuck@baltsun.com

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