Your pickup lines, for better or for worse -- try at your own risk

ON NIGHTLIFE

October 06, 2005|By SAM SESSA

Thanks for e-mailing us some of the funniest pickup-line stories (both printable and nonprintable) we've ever read. People from all walks of life -- a wide cross section of the city -- shared their own lines and lines used on them.

Here's a half-dozen or so of the standouts we culled from the past week's submissions:

Kimberly Bankard, a 38-year-old government worker who lives in Perry Hall, was walking by a store in Honeygo Village last week when two guys sitting in a construction truck said hi. Bankard said, "Hi, how are you?" One of the men responded, "I'd be a lot better if I was walking with you."

"I thought that was cute because it was not crude and very flattering," Blankard wrote. "I smiled, laughed and kept walking."

A couple years ago, Rebecca Bers was in Bohager's with a girlfriend. A guy she described as "gorgeous ... or so my beer goggles told me" strolled up and said "Girl, you're the bomb. Did they drop you on Baghdad last week?"

It worked, wrote Bers, a 22-year-old accountant who lives in Ellicott City. She later wrote back to clarify: "I wanted to tell you that when I say that the line worked, it just meant that I talked to him. ... I don't want anyone thinking that I went home with him!"

Don Canham, a 72-year-old salon owner who lives in the city, wrote: "This is a line I have used over the years with little success; but a few laughs: May I get in your pants? Mine are full."

Dave Wharen, a 35-year-old DJ from Frederick, wrote: "The worst pickup line I've heard is when this guy asked a girl how she would like her eggs in the morning. That drips with so much cheese it should be illegal."

Jeff Stromberg, a 22-year-old medical student who lives in the city, heard this exchange at a bar:

Guy: How much does a penguin weigh?

Girl: I don't know.

Guy: Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm ...

Mary Ruschell, a 50-year-old mom who lives in Severna Park, sent in two cute pickup-line stories. Ruschell was scoping the scene inside Philadelphia's Electric Factory at a heavy metal concert when she accidentally bumped into a waiter. She apologized, saying she was just trying to figure out the lay of the land.

A gentleman at the bar overheard, walked over to her and said: "Excuse me, I just overheard you say you were trying to figure out the lay of the land? Well, here I am!"

"I appreciated the whole scenario -- his picking up on an unintentional lead-in line and leaving me with a great first memory of the evening," she wrote.

In the second anecdote, Ruschell said she bought a garden shovel and was walking back to her car when a guy leaned out of a pickup truck, smiled and said, "If you're going to use that shovel to bury your husband, I'll be glad to help!"

"Being divorced made that line even funnier, and I just guffawed and gave the dude a thumbs-up," Ruschell wrote. "Hmmm, maybe I should carry a shovel around more often ..."

There you have it -- the best of the best, worst and in-between. Thanks again to the flirts and the flirted-with.

sam.sessa@baltsun.com

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