Terrible `Supercross' never gets on right track

Movie Review

August 17, 2005|By Chris Kaltenbach | Chris Kaltenbach,SUN MOVIE CRITIC

The most amazing fact about Supercross is that it took three people to write it. Two chimpanzees with a typewriter could have done just as good a job.

Really, it took two people just to come up with the story for this film!? And two people to actually write the script? And the best they could come up with are gems of dialogue like, "He's lucky to have you, to help him and stuff" (girlfriend to motocross racer who feels his brother doesn't appreciate him) and, "Your shoes cost more, but you're just like the rest of us" (short-skirted motocross groupie to lawyer-girlfriend of motocross racer)?

Supercross is really beyond bad. It's an 82-minute paean to motocross racing that probably will leave even hard-core fans of the sport yawning.

Casual movie fans may wonder about the appeal of a sport that involves racing a motorcycle in circles on a track and leaping into the air repeatedly, wheels spinning, bikes twisting, but I'm sure hard-core motocross lovers can wax poetic about the excitement of watching such a spectacle.

Still, would even they want to sit in a theater and watch an 82-minute highlight reel? It's like asking a baseball fan to watch 82 minutes of nothing but home runs, or a football fan to watch 82 minutes of touchdown passes. Five minutes into it, and the only question will be, "Where's the nearest exit?"

Yeah, Supercross makes a feeble attempt at being a movie. Every 10 minutes or so, there's a scene involving some pretty (and usually scantily or clingingly clad) young people making goo-goo eyes at one another, usually with a motorcycle in the foreground. There are warring brothers, K.C. and Trip Carlyle (Steve Howey and Mike Vogel, both scruffily handsome, which is all they need to be), who are nonetheless there for one another when the need arises. And there are plenty of young, gorgeous model-types to serve as eye candy for the guys in the audience (including Cameron Richardson and Sophia Bush).

All four of the main cast members are known primarily for TV work. This movie will not change that.

Let's be honest here. None of the plot lines go anywhere; several are dropped, others are left dangling. Supercross is nothing but an extended commercial for motocross, and ESPN does that kind of stuff a whole lot better. Probably with fewer writers, too.

Supercross

Starring Steve Howey and Mike Vogel

Directed by Steve Boyum

Released by 20th Century Fox

Rated PG-13 (language and some sexuality)

Time 82 minutes

SUN SCORE * (1 star)

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