Singing his own praises

April 02, 2005|By Lyrics by Mike Ricigliano

In a deal to compensate the Orioles franchise for any damage a team in Washington might create, indications are that what Peter Angelos wanted, Peter Angelos got.

So, we can't help but be reminded of the musical hit Damn Yankees. In it, a Washington Senators fan makes a pact with the devil to help his baseball team win the pennant.

To celebrate this "victory" for the home team, we offer these lyrics to the tune of "You Gotta Have Heart":

You've gotta have ... smaaarts

All you need is legal smarts

When you're hinting that a lawsuit might come

Thats when the payoffs start

You must be verbose

When D.C. impacts the O's

Claim your territorial 50-mile rights

(and mention the AS-BES-TOs)

When you own the team in Bal-mer

With attendance growing thin

You can overcome your screw-ups

Force the District to chip in

(there's nothing to it but to do it...)

You gotta have smaaaarts

And a look like Bonaparte

Oh, it's great to bilk D.C. out of money

And then beat the Redskins on topppp

(THAT'S a Baltimore chop!!!)

A great record ... I haven't got ...

A great ball team ... I haven't got ...

A great fan club ... I (especially) haven't got ...

WHAT HAVE I GOT???

A JACKPOOOOOOTTTTTT!!!!!

(I could buy some orange yachts)

Oh I could spend some on several free agents...

or put "BALTIMORE" on uni-tops...

OR just pocket the PROFS...

Losing Vladimir Guerrero ... (hmm hmm hmm)

Is what O's AND Expos do ... (boo hoo hoo)

Oh, it's nice to have a neighbor ... (hmm hmm hmm)

That's at least as lame as you ...

(there's nothing to it but to do it...)

You gotta have smaaaarts!!!!

Many Many Million smarts!

Oh, it's tough to lose our regional status...

But Washington pads us ... so take heart ...

So now the D.C. fans can join us

With hisses and boos

I'll make another fortune

while the O's AND Senators lose

and it's all because...

I HAVE SMAAAAARTS...

LEGAL SMAAAAAARTS!...

I HAVE SMAARTS

...dum ... dum ..

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