Every Fourth of July, on the shores of Lake Oconee, east of Atlanta, three men gather their families for a summer ritual of utmost importance.
Ralph Friedgen, George O'Leary and Frank Beamer play some golf, take their kids out on a boat and take turns singing on the karaoke machine. Friedgen's wife, Gloria, roasts a pig and prepares a meal big enough to feed a small army.
The three friends, all successful college football coaches, laugh, have a few drinks, relax and tell stories. They reminisce about the days when they barely had two nickels to rub together, when they shared an apartment as lowly graduate assistants, and they trade opinions on sports, politics, religion and parenthood.
There is, however, an unspoken rule at these gatherings. No one ever mentions it, but to a man, each of them understands it, and each lives by it.
Football games against one another do not get discussed. Ever.
Tonight, Friedgen and his Maryland Terrapins (4-5, 2-4 Atlantic Coast Conference) will face Beamer and his No. 15 Virginia Tech Hokies (7-2, 4-1) in Blacksburg, a game that both men would prefer not to play. Both coaches hate the thought of having to shake hands at midfield when it's over, knowing that one of them will be thrilled and the other frustrated and disappointed.
"Ralph and I really go back a long way," Beamer said. "It's tough. He's a good friend and our families are real close. I don't like it at all."
They've never faced each other before as head coaches, though Friedgen was the offensive coordinator at Georgia Tech in 1990 when the Yellow Jackets defeated Beamer and Virginia Tech, 6-3, on a cold, windy day in Atlanta.
To this day, the two friends have never discussed that game, and it's likely this game will suffer a similar fate. Friedgen and O'Leary, now coach at Central Florida, have never talked about the time they faced one another in 2001, when O'Leary was the head coach at Georgia Tech and Friedgen was in his first season at Maryland. The Terps won that one, 20-17, in overtime.
"It's just something we don't talk about," Friedgen said. "We'll work like heck to beat each other, and when it's over we'll go back to being friends."
Friedgen is quick to admit he owes a lot to Beamer. The two have been close since they were both hired - at the recommendation of Bobby Ross - by Maryland coach Jerry Claiborne in 1972 as graduate assistants. When Ross became head coach at The Citadel in 1973, he hired Beamer and Friedgen to work on his staff and, in 1978 and 1979, Friedgen was the team's offensive coordinator and Beamer its defensive coordinator.
