The Rev. Michael Ray, 39, recalls when a family friend decided to divorce his wife after 49 years of marriage.
The minister also has witnessed divorces, after fewer than 10 years of marriage, among his church members and in his neighborhood.
Ray's congregation, Laurel Church of Christ, is holding a "Love, Sex and Marriage" seminar today and tomorrow to help prevent other marriages from going down the drain.
"It would be easy for a church to sit back and criticize the direction our society is going," Ray said. "But it's more important that we reach out and help couples strengthen and improve their marriages."
The remedy in this case is Joe Beam, an internationally known speaker from Kentucky who has given the seminar to 4,500 couples and has appeared on ABC's Good Morning America. Beam, a former corporate trainer, did graduate studies in clinical psychology and is founder of the Family Dynamics Institute in Kentucky. His goal is transforming the way people live and love in their marriages.
The two-day seminar is fast-paced and meant to entertain, Beam said. He hopes to strengthen marriages by teaching couples how to eliminate negative behavior and fall in love again.
"Joe is a dynamic speaker and is able to communicate in a way that entertains and educates at the same time," Ray said.
Ray hopes the seminar will help more couples stay together and help decrease the divorce rate, which is 51 percent, according to statistics from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Resources. Last year, there were about 2.2 million marriages in the United States and 1.1 million divorces.
In Maryland, the rate is not much better. There were about 38,000 marriages in Maryland and 16,000 divorces, a divorce rate of 43 percent.
Ray believes one of the biggest problems in a marriage is selfishness. One spouse is more concerned about his or her happiness than the well-being of the other. The mindset is "you're not giving me anything, so I'm not going to give anything," Ray said.
One of the sections of the seminar that will be discussed tomorrow is sex. Beam uses biblical examples, including the book of Song of Solomon, to dispel myths about sex and marriage.
"I use Scriptures so they won't think I'm a dirty old man," Beam said.
Beam is confident in his ability to turn a marriage around. He said he once helped revive a marriage in which the wife had an affair and became pregnant.
