`Superbabies' sure to leave you wailing

Movie Review

August 28, 2004|By Kevin Crust | Kevin Crust,LOS ANGELES TIMES

A follow-up to the 1999 mishap Baby Geniuses, the new Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 may quite easily put an end to any discussion of what is the worst theatrical release of this year. The culprits are once again producer Steven Paul and director Bob Clark. The movie is so bad that Sony Entertainment revived the long-dormant Triumph Films to release it, presumably to avoid putting the mothership's logo in the ads.

Further burying a conceit the Look Who's Talking movies ran into the ground more than a decade ago, Superbabies holds that infants have a language only they can comprehend.

Scott Baio and Vanessa Angel play a couple who own an upscale day care center. Son Alex entertains his fellow rugrats by spinning tales about a legendary superbaby named Kahuna.

Jon Voight plays worldwide media mogul Bill Biscane and, in a fantasy sequence, a goose-stepping East German army officer (don't ask). Biscane is plotting to take over the minds of the world's children and Kahuna comes along to battle evil in a preschool Spy Kids rip-off.

Kahuna is a septuagenarian (!?) forever trapped in the body of a 7-year-old. He became that way by accidentally ingesting a formula his scientist father had concocted. The super-empowered tyke fights bad guys, operating out of a grotto beneath the letter H in the Hollywood sign, a nifty little hideout that looks like some forgotten FAO Schwarz outlet store after a big sale.

With a steady stream of "see ya, wouldn't want to be ya" dialogue, this interminable Pampers commercial has the nerve to end with a "TV is rotten for kids" message. The film would do far more to stunt a child's imagination than anything on TV.

The Los Angles Times is a Tribune Publishing newspaper.

Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2

Starring Jon Voight, Scott Baio, Vanessa Angel

Directed by Bob Clark

Rated G

Released by Triumph Films

Time 90 minutes


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