For 15 grand at auction, you'd expect some Tony action

In Waverly Woods, some brace for attack by needy seniors

July 01, 2004|By DAN RODRICKS

ABOUT THE guy who paid $15,000 in a charity auction to have dinner with Tony Bennett but ended up having "Dinner in the Same Overpriced Restaurant Where Tony Bennett Will Be Eating": He has a beef. (Actually he had the veal! Badda-bing!)

If somebody tells me that I'm donating $15,000 to have dinner in Little Italy with Tony Bennett, then I expect him to sit at my table and share a calamari appetizer, if not croon "To the Good Life." If that doesn't happen, I'm calling Tony Soprano, and he's calling Furio back from the old country, and badda-bing badda-boom!

It's nice that Tony Bennett wants to make amends. In the meantime, maybe they can invite the donor back to Little Italy to watch an outdoor movie: Bruce Almighty or Analyze This - Tony Bennett sings in both of them. End of story.

John Giannetti, that publicity-seeking state senator who represents parts of Anne Arundel and Prince George's counties, e-mailed another news release the other day - this one with more than 400 words about his and the new Mrs. Giannetti's Florida wedding and three-week European honeymoon: "The couple sunned themselves daily on the beautiful Mediterranean beaches, and ... the local island residents reportedly enjoyed Erin's bikinis much more than John's black Speedo." This is so goofy, I suspect we'll be seeing the honeymoon video - Giannettis Gone Wild - sometime this summer. Stay tuned.

Maryland officials want to make it illegal to own a Northern snakehead. But don't worry - we can keep our AK-47s.

U.S. Ambassador John Negroponte presented his credentials to Iraq's new interim government. I wonder if he included the part about his time as our man in Honduras in the 1980s: "Made sure not to notice army death squads."

At the upscale Waverly Woods golf course community along Interstate 70, some residents are putting up a squawk about a proposed 102-unit apartment building for middle-income elderly. Among concerns: That some of the units might - might - go to senior citizens with Section 8 vouchers. "We can end up with low-income people living in Waverly Woods," said a leader of the opposition, "along with the crime and the lack of concern about property values that comes along with them." And next thing you know, those pesky seniors are demanding early-bird discounts and primo tee times. God help us.

Once upon a time it was tool belts and potbellies that made a man's pants hang low. Remember Dan Aykroyd's plumber parody on Saturday Night Live? He'd bend down to work and reveal a section of pale male cleavage as his shirt rode up and his pants slid down. Ackroyd's bit was funny - but that was at least 25 years ago. These days, board shorts and the low-rider trend in pants make backside reveals commonplace - "They're s'posed to look like that" - but even more so when there's a cell phone or pager weighing things down along the belt line. Yesterday, we got a real eye-opener at the Motor Vehicle Administration in Mondawmin when a super-sized gentleman leaned to make himself heard over the counter. The combination of this arched position and his cell phone resulted in a revelation for the scores of people waiting their turn. This is one problem with crack that doesn't need drug treatment; it needs suspenders. Badda-bing!

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