The Mary Sue Easter Bunny File

Thoughts on An Inflatable Pink Rabbit,

Southbound, JFX

Mary Sue Easter Bunny,

Rooftop Colossus,

Giant Pink Temptress:

You suggest chocolates, crumpled foil, tradition.

Oh Highness of the Highway,

Seasonal Totem,

Grinning Vessel of Promotion -

Your appeal is puzzling.

The Mary Sue Easter Bunny File

Name: Mary Sue

Height: 32 feet

Weight: None of your business

Birthplace: Inflatable Images, Cleveland

Number of years on Naron Mary Sue Candy warehouse roof in Hampden: 3

Reason for being: To extend Easter greetings, and remind people to purchase Mary Sue cream-filled chocolate eggs

Seen by: 103,000 motorists each day, according to candy company owner Bill Buppert

Likes: All those appreciative e-mails written by moms and dads

Can't tolerate: Too much wind - Buppert "collapses" Mary Sue whenever the forecast calls for brisk winds.

Length of expressway gig: Roughly 6 weeks every year; appears on roof sometime after Valentine's Day and returns to storage after Easter.

Biggest misconception: Mary Sue is not full of hot air.

In a perfect world: No more working nights and weekends