Season's greetings, hon

December 25, 2003

To

W

Plus

A few

Joggers

'N' bloggers Candidates,

Running mates,

Persons of interest,

Now season is wintrest.

Say no to those chilblains,

Daschle and Sarbanes;

Just sip a wee sipken

Of punch with Cal Ripken.

If there's ice in the gutters,

Share a nog with John Waters.

A Mike Busch de Noel, angels foretell -

To: Dulaney Valley, Mayor O'Malley,

Michael S. Steele, and Bobby Neall,

William Jews and Maryland's Blues,

The troops in Iraq (may all safe come back)

Qayum Karzai, the Tapas guy,

Blizzard and Isabel (Let's give a hearty yell,

They've come and gone, for all their brawn,

But they'll be returnin', like Chancellor Kirwan),

Colin and Condi, Dilbert and Blondie,

Double-crowned Funny Cide, TV's reality bride,

Cardinal William Keeler and The Graduate scene-stealer

Ms. Kathleen Turner, now laxer now sterner,

Towson's new prexy, and, oh, what the hecksy,

The mansion, too, plus the memory of Du,

President Dixon, and a feast with every fixin',

S. Claus' extra paddin', and Nathaniel McFadden,

Jessamy and O'Connor, and Heller, Your Honor,

Schaefer, William Donald, and Reagan, President Ronald,

Tommy Franks, retired, and Johnny Depp, inspired,

William H. Macy, and films not-too-racy,

Penn and Teller, sweller and sweller,

South Africa's Mbeki - and the legions Star Trekkie -

A Fox south of the border, an eight-track tape recorder,

Thomas V. Mike Miller, stockings stuffed (with extra filler),

J. Lo and Ben - and the question's more like if than when -

A defendant named Martha, logs on the heartha,

A handsome romancer (now there's the answer),

Col. Ed Norris, Natasha and Boris,

The new wing at the Pratt, the Roundhouse fallen flat,

The frigate Constellation, the Grinch's consternation,

Conductor Yuri of the BSO (Have a very Russian Rozhdestvo!),

Steny, Ben, Wayne & Roscoe (have a plate of cookies and Bosco);

And Al, Chris & also Dutch - is that too much?

Each and every seagullski and Barbara A. Mikulski,

Silvio Berlusconi and Italians stout and bony,

Ozzy and family and Geraldo most hamly,

Lance on his bicycle, Jack Frost with his icicle,

Schwarzenegger, Zellweger, Arnold and Renee,

From Statehouse to Chicago, the Hollywood way,

Wonder where that rhyme scheme went? - Eminem and 50 Cent,

Blairs Jason and Tony (but which one's the phony?)

Alonzo Mourning and young Ehrlich aborning,

Ben Carson, M.D., and the N double-A C P,

Every metrosexual, and, oh, what the hexual,

Extra hunks of pie for the crew of Queer Eye,

Limbaugh's prescriptions and Zimmer's conniptions,

A shortstop named Tejada from Oakland (past Nevada),

Steve Larsen, ex-commish (take an extra Xmas wish),

Nobellian champ and worth the fuss, Peter Agre with Good King Gus,

And don't slight Coetzee - in Stockholm, too, what say ya? -(And, yes, that rhymes, like lemons and limes)

West Virginia's Jessica Lynch - in a storm of spin she didn't flinch -

John Paul the Second, and whoever it was who reckoned

That Master and Commander're better than some philanderer

Who moves from pillow to post, on screens from coast to coast,

Lieberman and Gore and unevening the score,

Kucinich and Kerry and all K's making merry,

John, Al and Carol and bubbly in a barrel,

Wannabes from every sector, and, oh, what the hector,

West side's transformation, and the biotech nation,

A reborn Hippodrome, school kids skippin' home,

The Clarks, Kev and Wes (can they clean up this mess?),

Walter and Stephen, Sondheims two, and, say it ain't Sosa, Moises Alou,

Jacques and Gerhard and Kofi Annan, with all the woes they've stumbled upon,

Schools chief Copeland, Bonnie, and Mr. Paterakis, Johnny,

HBO and the electric Wire, plus Morgan State's celestial choir,

The latest splash, named BeyoncM-i, and that reminds us, what the hey,

Rummy, Wolfie, Cheney and Rove, and peaceniks, too, gathered by the stove,

Peter Angelos opening his purse, Lee Mazzilli, Bambino's Curse -

On Baltimore, not Boston? That takes the cake - or maybe just the frostin' -

Hastert, DeLay, Scalia and Rehnquist; Lott and Hagel and Dr. Bill Frist,

Leslie Doggett's romantic notion, that tourists flock from across the ocean,

Boondocks and Hagar and the Gals in 3-G, Hi & Lois, Beetle Bailey, Garfield and B.C.

Vladimir Vladimirovich, aka Putin, perennial crooners, Manilow and Newton,

Now double time for Clinton (what's she hintin'?); Gephardt, Dean and Iowans between,

Paul Bremer III, and the Orioles Bird; with ethereal strummings, to Elijah Cummings,

The Ravens' Ray Lewis (and would you do us - a favor? A toast? To Johnny U's ghost?)

Kendel and Britney (a peace-on-earth litany); Gov. Bobby and the racetrack lobby,

To the aforesaid Dubya (though, sure, we may rub ya the wrong way at times) -

a Christmas in rhymes,

With parties boisterous,

Dinners oysterous,

Garlands swooping,

Loop-the-looping,

Presents shiny

Ninety-niney,

Grand and very

JOLLY AND MERRY;

TO ONE AND ALL

MAY THIS BEFALL.

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