If only: What we wish Simon would say


April 10, 2003|By Sarah Kickler Kelber | Sarah Kickler Kelber,SUN STAFF

American Idol judge Simon Cowell doesn't usually keep his thoughts to himself when it comes to people's musical talent, at least not those poor, warbling contestants on the hit Fox show. But here's what we wish the pointedly opinionated judge would say to some already successful artists:

* Jennifer Lopez, performing "All I Have," a duet with LL Cool J. "You were a little pitchy there. You have the look of the American Idol, but that voice isn't really what we are looking for."

* Fred Durst, with Limp Bizkit, performing "Just Drop Dead," a staccato tirade that some thought was directed at Britney Spears, whom he was rumored to have had a relationship with. "Well, you're clearly emotionally invested in the song, but could you try singing it next time?"

* Justin Timberlake, singing "Rock Your Body," his newest hit: "That was absolutely a copycat performance! And since apparently no one else has told you, I will: Michael Jackson isn't really the best person to be emulating these days, OK?"

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