Family has many gay, lesbian kids

PARENT Q & A

April 29, 2001|By T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., NEW YORK TIMES SPECIAL FEATURES

Q. I read a column you wrote on birth order, and it made me think about my family. Maybe you can help solve a big concern for all of us.

There are 10 children in our family (six boys and four girls), all from the same parents. We all have children of our own now -- 27 in total. Seven of those children are either gay or lesbian, including my oldest son.

We can't help but wonder why there are so many from one family. Can you explain this?

A. It sounds as if you are concerned about your son and the other members of your family. Some parents feel that homosexuality is a burden for the child or is likely to be the result of a parent's failure in raising the child. It needn't be a burden for either of you if you can be supportive of your son and the other family members. We are much more enlightened and accepting than we used to be, as a society.

Your question raises an issue that is being debated in the medical community. There may well be an inherited tendency which occurs in families. Then, under certain circumstances, the developing child finds his best adjustment in homosexual relationships. When that is the case, support and acceptance is the best response you can make. Please try.

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