Super - Completely and Totally the Messiest

Story Time

March 07, 2001|By Judith Viorst

Editor's note: We find out that Olivia's little sister Sophie is MOST definitely NOT a neat-freak.

My room is very neat -- like me, Olivia. Jake, my big brother, is sort of, but not a HUGE slob. And then there's my little sister, whose room is seriously -- I mean seriously -- REVOLTING. Which is one of maybe a MILLION reasons why my sister Sophie is super-completely and totally THE MESSIEST.

"Hello, is anyone home?" I ask, when I open the door to her room. Because even when she'd there, it's hard to find her. I mean there's so much stuff on her bed that sometimes I just see the top of her head.

And there's so much stuff on her floor and spilling out of her dresser drawers that sometimes all I can find is a nose or a toe.

And there's so much stuff in her closet that once when she opened up her closet -- "Don't do it!" I hollered. "Stop! Watch out! Oh no!" -- she super-completely and totally DISAPPEARED.

I mean, Sophie isn't just messy. She is THE MESSIEST.

Maybe you think that Sophie isn't so messy when she's in school. If you think THAT, you would be really wrong.

Maybe you think that she isn't a mess when she puts on a dress and goes to a birthday party. If you think THAT, you would be REALLY wrong.

Maybe you even think that she could play with crayons or paints and not mess up ceilings and cats and herself and EVERYTHING. If you think THAT, you would be so really, REALLY wrong that it might be a year before you were right about ANYTHING.

And once we went to a farm to visit some chickens and cows and a vegetable garden and pigs. Sophie's shoelaces were -- they're ALWAYS -- untied. All I can say is: Poor chickens. Poor cows. And poor, POOR vegetable garden.

No, I can say something else: I can say that all of the pigs on that farm thought that my sister Sophie was their cousin. No, I'm NOT a rude person. I would never, ever, EVER call Sophie a pig. I'm only saying that PIGS think Sophie's a pig.

I'm only saying this: That wherever my sister Sophie goes, she is super-completely and totally THE MESSIEST.

I keep on telling Sophie, "Try to be neat, like me, Olivia." She says she'll try to be neat. But she forgets. And so, when Sophie cleans up a mess it's a messier mess than it was before she started.

And just listen to what happened when Sophie said to Jake and me could we please help her make our mom breakfast in bed for Mother's Day.

No, she didn't spill the orange juice. Jake and I helped her pour it. She didn't burn the toast. We helped watch the toast. And our dad said he would make coffee and bring it up later, so Sophie didn't get to mess up THAT. Then all of us carefully carried the tray up to the bedroom.

Mom sat up in bed, and we set down the tray. Then Sophie felt so proud that she had made our mom breakfast in bed that she climbed on the bed and started yelling, "Yay! Yay!"

Except that while she was yelling "Yay! Yay!" she also jumped up and down, which is NOT a good thing to do to breakfast in bed. I mean, it was super-completely and totally UGLY. I mean, NOBODY'S better at making a mess than Sophie.

Our mom says I should tell you that Sophie's a kind and very nice person, even though she messes up breakfasts and beds.

Our dad says I should tell you that Sophie's a smart and funny person, even though she wrecks sandcastles, jugglers and vegetable gardens.

Jake says I should tell you that Sophie's great at puzzles and dancing, even though she's not great at cleaning her room.

And I would like to tell you that even though I would bet my best bracelet that Sophie will never be practically perfect, like me, I'm hoping that one of these days she'll start to remember to stop forgetting to try NOT to be so super-completely and totally THE MESSIEST.

Excerpted from the book SUPER COMPLETELY AND TOTALLY THE MESSIEST. Text copyright (c) 2001 by Judith Viorst; illustrations copyright (c) 2001 by Robin Preiss Glasser. Reprinted by permission of Atheneum Books for Young Readers, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, Inc., Children's Publishing. All rights reserved.

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