If the Couch Potato ever stumbled upon a magic lamp and a genie appeared and granted him one wish for Super Bowl week, that one wish would be: enough with the Ravens fans barking.
On Channel 13's 5 o'clock news, a report on Ravens mania sweeping the city actually featured - someone call the Vatican - the Sisters of Mercy barking along to "Who Let the Dogs Out," which officially became the most annoying song in history many months ago.
Sinking to his knees in the '70s-style shag carpeting in his basement, the Couch Potato prayed that we had finally reached the nadir of human barking. But it was not to be. A few minutes later, Channel 2 News' live broadcast from Bohager's in Fells Point showed purple-faced children barking to that thing Ray Lewis and his teammates chant before each game. ("What time is it? Game time! Are the dogs in the house? Woof, woof, woof, woof!")
On a more serious note - isn't anything more serious than people barking? - Channel 2 had an interesting piece on a Ravens fan who shelled out $2,000 for a Super Bowl ticket, which he'd bought from another passenger on the flight from Baltimore to Tampa. Two grand! The Couch Potato could shag-carpet his whole house for that.
Another winner last night: Channel 11 interview with NFL coaching legend Don Shula, who said if the Ravens win tomorrow, their D should be declared the best of all time.
Losers: On a special NFL players edition of "Wheel of Fortune," Tony Siragusa told Pat Sajak that he's gotten into body-painting and often throws paint at the canvas and sits on it. Goose, babe, tell us you're kidding.
Also, Channel 2's Real People Poll in which it was reported that 90 percent of the fans calling in to the station thought the Ravens would beat the Giants tomorrow.
Somebody stop the presses.