August 27, 2000|By James A. Fussell | James A. Fussell,Knight Ridder / Tribune
Most parents do a fine job of meeting their children's needs. They give them food, shelter, love. But parents should add one more thing to that list, says author Christine Field.
Chores. Your children should be folding the laundry, raking the leaves, putting away groceries.
The reason is simple, Field said. These and thousands of other age-appropriate tasks help build responsibility, relationships and self-respect.
In her new book, "Life Skills for Kids" (Harold Shaw, $14.99), Field explains how important it is for parents to involve their children early in fun work experiences.
It's not hard, she said. "It's just living life, letting your children come alongside. In that way you'll be having fun with your children while teaching them valuable life lessons."
Other parenting authorities agree. Dale Walker, assistant professor of human development at the University of Kansas, said involving children in fun family chores enhances family communication, strengthens family bonds and offers numerous "teachable moments."
"Every time you interact with [your children], you have a chance to expand upon the lessons you are teaching," Walker said.
Field practiced law for eight years before quitting to become a full-time mom. She decided to write the book when she discovered that her eldest daughter could read anything in the library but didn't know how to dry dishes.
Now that's all changed.
"In our family we start when the kids are young to give them real things to do in a stable, predictable routine," she said. "When my son was about 16 months old he loved to be with me when I was folding clothes. Of course, he wasn't any help. But I would still give him washcloths to fold. Now Daniel is 3 and he's our towel man. He folds all the towels and puts them in the linen closet. He feels like he is needed. He feels like he is counted on."
Kids most want to help when they're ages 2 to 5, parenting experts say. But that's also when their help isn't always that helpful. Many parents don't want to deal with it, and simply tell the child to go watch a video. That's easier, but parents miss a golden opportunity.
KU's Walker says: "Don't expect your [young] child to be able to set the whole table, but they certainly can carry the big forks and the little forks and place them in the appropriate places. And they'll learn from that. They'll learn colors, to discriminate and prepositions such as under, up, beneath, below, etc."
The following lists will give you some ideas of age-appropriate chores for your children.
Setting the table for self-esteem
AGES 2-3
*Help make the bed (pull covers up)
*Hang clothing on hooks
*Carry laundry to and from the laundry area
*Help feed the animals
*Help wipe up spills
*Bring in the newspaper
*Mop a small area
*Pour from a small pitcher
*Help pick up the living room
AGES 4-5
*Any of the above, plus:
*Make their own beds
*Clear dishes from the table
*Set the table
*Retrieve the mail
*Dust the furniture
*Help in the kitchen
*Help carry and put away groceries
AGES 6-12
*Any of the above, plus:
*Take care of pets
*Cook simple foods
*Help wash the car
*Vacuum, sweep and mop
*Clean the bathroom completely
*Rake leaves and shovel snow
*Use the washer and dryer
*Hang and fold laundry
*Take out the trash
AGES 13 AND UP
*Any of the above, plus:
*Change light bulbs
*Replace vacuum cleaner bags
*Wash inside and outside of windows
*Clean out refrigerator
*Clean stove and oven
*Prepare a meal
*Make grocery lists
*Do all laundry functions
*Mow the lawn
Source: "Life Skills for Kids," by Christine M. Field
