Minds to soar onto Web

'MST 3000'

Humor: The former sci-fi movie critics will offer a serial novel, essays and short films next month.

March 13, 2000|By Donna Petrozzello | Donna Petrozzello,New York Daily News

Attention, fans of Mystery Science Theater 3000 -- your heroes are returning.

On the Web, that is.

Having put aside his hectic schedule of round-the-clock movie heckling, former MST 3000 star and head writer Mike Nelson is ready to launch a Web site outlet for his irreverent humor.

The site, www.timmybighands. com, will appear April 1. Nelson and MST 3000 robot movie reviewers Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett, art director/robot Patrick Brantseg and writer Paul Chaplin will rant and rave about a host of things.

"We gave the Statue of Liberty four stars as a symbol of freedom and for construction quality, but no points for the poem on her base," Nelson said.

MST 3000, the cult TV show in which bad movies were ridiculed by a human and his robot pals, ended its 10-year run in August. Loyal fans, dubbed Misties, followed them from the Comedy Channel to Comedy Central to the Sci-Fi Channel.

Even odder things appear on Nelson & Co.'s review-du-jour menu. The guys will review a pair of human hands on their design and efficiency, Nelson said.

Alongside offbeat reviews, www. timmybighands.com (named after its mascot) will be home to Nelson's homemade cartoon family, The Cliparts, a cantankerous, fighting couple fashioned from images in artists' clip-art books, he said.

Nelson and his Web mates also will post a homespun serial novel, a collection of essays offering firm opinions on almost everything, and very short animated films. Syrup ads, too, Nelson said.

"Our goal is to provide well-written humor that will be far more than simply a way to waste time at work," Chaplin said.

For those inspired to respond with humorous quips from their lives, browsers are invited to send essays for the site's This Really Happened to Me file, Nelson said. He is looking for tales about adventures in, or certainly near, the great outdoors.

"We'll have personal stories from people who've been attacked by a rabid dog, or a badger," Nelson said. "We've written one of them in which a businessman gets lost in the woods and tries to use his cell phone to call for help, but who eventually moves in to live with a family of bears. It's an obvious feature to have users help us out with."

And though Nelson is fairly confident that at least some MST 3000 fans will log on based on the reputation of its makers, he is offering cash.

The first 500 folks to log in will receive a signed check for $1.18, and each will be eligible to win the grand prize, 12 bucks.

"It's our own who-wants-to-win-$12 sweepstakes," Nelson said.

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