If "The X-Files" is alien to you, it's time to prepare for invasion.
Unless you've been living under a moon rock, you've at least heard of the Fox TV series about two crusading FBI agents exploring the supernatural and extraterrestrial. Almost since it began in 1993, every other Entertainment Weekly and TV Guide cover has beamed with the faces of Fox "Spooky" Mulder and Dana Scully.
There are "X-Files" conventions, comic books and Internet confabs. The alien phenomenon is so commonplace that it's gone cuddly -- you can actually buy tacky little stuffed extraterrestrials at the mall. And now there is the clearest sign of pop-culture saturation -- "The X-Files" movie, which opens tomorrow.
It's possible, however, that a few folks haven't been X-posed. And even those who have may be mystified by the ever-evolving plot, which has more cul-de-sacs than Columbia. The movie is an extension of the TV show and assumes its audience has a certain amount of knowledge, so some X-plication is in order.
Face it. There wouldn't be much of a show if series creator Chris Carter actually told us what was going on. Though a lot of "X-Files" episodes are simply scary stories, many -- and the movie -- deal with the incredibly complex tale that its creators call "the mythology," a conspiracy concerning government cover-ups and extraterrestrials. The Roswell alien-crash story, which figures into the mythology, seems quaint in comparison.
The movie, die-hard X-Philes will find, actually spells out a few things, much more than the TV show ever does. But newcomers are still going to be perplexed by the galaxy of shadowy X-figures, many of whom don't even have real names. Here are the bare facts you'll need to survive "The X-Files" movie -- and, remember, trust no one.
X-Files: Secret FBI cases concerning inexplicable or supernatural events. Not for the first time, the X-Files office was shut down (actually, burned) at the end of this TV season.
Fox Mulder (David Duchovny): Agent assigned to the X-Files whose sister was (he thinks) abducted by aliens when they were kids. Late father was linked to major players in alien conspiracy. Has a sense of ironic humor but often talks in really long sentences full of overblown philosophy and abstractions. Obsessed with proving the existence of aliens as well as a bewildering number of supernatural phenomena and twisted plots. JFK conspiracy freaks got nothin' on this guy.
