How big lizard measures up to Hollywood nasties

May 20, 1998|By Chris Kaltenbach

An article in the May 20 editions of The Sun erroneously named the robot in "The Day the Earth Stood Still." The robot's name was Gort.

The Sun regrets the error.

Sure, he's Big. Darn Big. From various reports, roughly 20 stories big -- that's about the length of a football field. So yeah, Godzilla has size on his side. But when it comes to movie monsters, it's not always size that matters. Here's a look at how the Big Guy stacks up against some of Hollywood's scariest critters.

King Kong: At roughly 40 feet, Kong's only about one-sixth Godzilla's height. But here's betting he'd still whup 'Zilla's reptilian behind in a fair fight. Kong rules.

FOR THE RECORD - CORRECTION

Jaws: Bruce, the mechanical shark that starred in Steven Spielberg's 1975 masterpiece, was a 28-footer: pretty huge when it comes to fish, but just another shrimp on the barbie to Godzilla.

Klaatu: At 8-plus feet, the mysterious robot from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" would seem no match for Godzilla. Still, lizards can't talk. Meaning Godzilla wouldn't be able to utter the placating phrase, "Klaatu barada nikto." Meaning Klaatu's death ray would reduce Godzilla to just so much reptilian toast.

Audrey: At 10 feet or so, the star of "Little Shop of Horrors" was pretty big, even for a man-eating plant. Still, she'd barely garnish Godzilla's salad.

Regan: What possible threat could a 5-foot-tall little girl pose to Godzilla? None, unless you're the pea-soup spewing central character of "The Exorcist" and are controlled by Satan.

Joan Crawford: As anyone who's seen "Mommie Dearest" can attest, this is one scary person -- even though she's only about 5-foot-7. Godzilla would be wise to think twice about using wire coat hangers with Joan around.

Michael Cimino: Not sure how tall the director who killed United Artists is; let's guess about average, say 5-foot-10. No match for Godzilla -- although, with Cimino at the helm, "Godzilla" would have cost about five times its $100 million budget, and probably devoured TriStar Pictures. Which makes Cimino far scarier to Hollywood than Godzilla.

The Andromeda Strain: Only a microbe, but Godzilla would be helpless before the onslaught of this extraterrestrial virus. Advantage to the small.

The Wicked Witch of the West: If a falling house could kill her sister, one shudders to think what a stomping dinosaur could do to the Wicked Witch. With Godzilla at her side, Dorothy would have made it home a lot sooner.

Titanic: No contest: at 882 feet, not only is Titanic bigger than Godzilla, but when it sinks to the bottom of the ocean, the reptile goes with it -- you think Godzilla could have fit on one of those lifeboats?

Original Godzilla: Size varied -- anywhere from 8 to 30 stories tall -- depending on what Godzilla was demolishing at the time. Suffice it to say Original Godzilla towered over the massive Raymond Burr, who played an American reporter in the original film. Which means Original Godzilla could give New Godzilla a run for his money.

Pub Date: 5/20/98

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