This Frosty is a very contrary soul

December 25, 1997|By KEN ROSENTHAL

'Tis the season to rip fondly.

(To the tune of "Frosty the Snowman")

Arthur the owner.

Is getting a new home.

With PSLs and luxury suites.

Now he won't need another loan.

Arthur in the Super Bowl.

Is a fairy tale they say.

He brought the Browns.

They played like clowns.

Still the fans pay and pay!

Ka-ching-a-ching-ching- ching.

Ka-ching-a-ching-ching- ching.

Look at Arthur go.

Ka-ching-a-ching-ching- ching.

Ka-ching-a-ching-ching- ching.

Here comes all his dough!

Peter the owner.

Hates his manager every season.

The Alomar fine was Davey's crime.

The equivalent of treason.

Peter in the World Series.

Is a fairy tale they say.

Ray Miller, so soon.

He'll be gone by June.

If he isn't in first place.

Knockety-knock-knock.

Knockety-knock-knock.

Peter's at the door.

Knockety-knock-knock.

Knockety-knock-knock.

Look out, manager No. 4!

Sprewell the hoop star.

Grabbed his coach's throat.

The NBA nailed him, justice failed him.

Johnnie Cochran told us so.

A shorter suspension.

Is a fairy tale they say.

Some would think it tragic.

If Johnnie works his magic.

Like he did for old O. J.!

Chokety-choke-choke.

Chokety-choke-choke.

P. J.'s turning blue.

Chokety-choke-choke.

Chokety-choke-choke.

When is Johnnie gonna sue?

Vinny the quarterback.

Some say he has no fire.

A turnover here, a turnover there.

And then he lost his job to Zeier.

Vinny back next season.

Is a fairy tale they say.

Art will decide.

About his hide.

And send him back to Tampa Bay!

Thumpety-thump- thump.

Thumpety-thump- thump.

Look at Vinny throw.

Thumpety-thump- thump.

Thumpety-thump- thump.

Another pick, oh no!

Davey the manager.

Is unemployed again.

Hired to be fired, fired to be hired.

He needs to make more friends.

Davey back in Baltimore.

Is a fairy tale they say.

But if The Boss comes calling.

That would be appalling.

Snap to it, Mr. A!

Ring-a-ling-ling-ling.

Ring-a-ling-ling-ling.

Davey's sitting home.

Ring-a-ling-ling-ling.

Ring-a-ling-ling-ling.

Waiting by the phone!

Tyson the fighter.

Was hungry in the ring.

Evander bled, but Mike got fed.

As promoted by Don King.

Tyson a gentleman.

Is a fairy tale they say.

He'll be back next year.

To bite another ear.

And we'll watch, anyway!

Chompety-chomp-chomp.

Chompety-chomp-chomp.

Resist that pay per view.

Chompety-chomp-chomp.

Chompety-chomp-chomp.

Iron Mike is through!

Reinsdorf and Huizenga.

What a pair of scrooges.

Spend, spend, spend; dump, dump, dump.

Right out of The Three Stooges.

An actual commissioner.

Is a fairy tale they say.

Bud's the acting head.

The sport is dead.

Please, not another trade!

Fax-a-fax-fax-fax.

Fax-a-fax-fax-fax.

Sheffield's the next to go.

Fax-a-fax-fax-fax.

Fax-a-fax-fax-fax.

Keep slashing that payroll!

Bam the running back.

Suspended by the NFL.

His teammates wait, he can't stay straight.

But he starts for Team Modell.

Bam a solid citizen.

Is a fairy tale they say.

He'll be back somewhere.

But surely not here.

If the D.A. has his way!

Bam-deedee-bam-bam.

Bam-deedee-bam-bam.

Justice will prevail.

Bam-deedee-bam-bam.

Bam-deedee-bam-bam.

Will Bam stay out of jail?

Sports fans of Baltimore.

The NFL is back in town.

With the Orioles, too, it's quite a stew.

Don't let anything get you down.

A parade down Charles Street.

Is a fairy tale they say.

But you never know.

When teams will strike gold.

That's why they play and play!

Thumpety-thump-thump.

Thumpety-thump-thump.

Relax, it's all just fun.

Thumpety-thump-thump.

Thumpety-thump-thump.

Happy holidays, everyone!

Pub Date: 12/25/97

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