Fiction for women: they'll have time to read

November 25, 1997|By Susan Reimer

AS YOU READ this, I am in line at the grocery store with a shopping cart full of the ingredients for side dishes I have not made in a year.

It is a long, long line of women pushing shopping carts full of ingredients for side dishes they have not made in a year.

So, where there should be a column, there is nothing but ...

True Facts.

Publishers say that women are the buyers of 70 percent to 80 percent of fiction titles. That is because they stubbornly cling to the belief that they will have time to read them some day.

Voice mail was invented because husbands and teen-agers can't remember to deliver messages, even after they write them down.

It is hard to tell which bath towels need washing when they are all on the floor.

A Penn State researcher criticized the American Girl series of dolls because the books that accompany them ignore unpleasant historical realities. That's just what young girls need: unpleasant historical realities.

Mothers carry tote bags because their children treat them like one.

The White House orders an average of 200 pizzas every day -- second only to the number ordered by my house during a single soccer season.

A study conducted by the University of Maryland and Bucknell University reports that women are less likely than men to talk about their own achievements because they worry that other women would feel bad and not like them as much.

The size of a woman's laundry pile is related to the ages of her children, not to the number of children she has.

Nissan, the automobile manufacturer, recently launched a search for "Car Pool Parent of the Year." The criteria? "Someone who meets the needs of a rigorous car pool schedule with patience, good humor and safe driving." The winner was to receive a new minivan and all the kids she can drive.

If your pre-schooler is in "time out" before 7 a.m., you know it is going to be a bad day.

The RoMANtic Newsletter, a practical guide to resurrecting romance in your relationship, offers these tips for men:

"Fax her a photocopy of your hand so she can 'hold' it; Use Rain-X Anti-Fog and a cotton swab to write love notes on bathroom mirrors; create a romantic screen saver for her computer, and eat Jelly Bellys blind-folded and try to guess their flavors."

According to a recent study of consumer attitudes toward unwanted hair, 60 percent of men believe that excess body hair makes them feel more masculine. Only 10 percent of women agree. Furthermore, 67 percent of women say they are "really turned off" by hairy men.

If your teen-agers ask to go to the library, you can bet they are studying the social patterns of the Homo sapien. Kids don't go to the library for any other reason.

Advertising to young people grew 50 percent to $1.5 billion between 1993 and 1996, according to Competitive Media Reporting. The reason? Children 14 and under have $20 billion to spend. And they all think their allowance is too small.

Women live longer than men. One of the reasons? Women are more religious and more connected with family and friends and better able to handle the hardships of growing older. That, and they are still working on their list of things to do.

Women go to bed every night believing tomorrow will be better.

And the truest True Fact of all: There is no flattery like another woman's scrutiny.

Pub Date: 11/25/97

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