Alibis are a growth industry Excuses: My dog ate my homework and other unlikely stories that'll convince your boss you can't work so you can attendOpening Day.

April 02, 1997

Gotta situation on your hands, don't you? You planned to attend the Orioles opener yesterday, so you called work with some lame excuse, a dog-ate-my-homework thing that only a boss with a brain the size of a lima bean would believe.

But then those pantywaist Orioles postponed the game, just because of a few gale force winds that threatened to blow 15,000 fans out of the upper deck and deposit them somewhere in Little Italy. Like those people couldn't take a shuttle bus back to the ballpark.

Anyway, now you have to make yesterday's excuse morph into something that will allow you to blow off work again today. This calls for some creative thinking. Maybe these suggestions from the Today staff will put you in the right frame of mind.

Yesterday's excuse: I have to stay home, shed my container, toss back some vodka and board the mother ship.

Today's excuse: The mother ship is from USAir and was delayed in Pittsburgh overnight.

Yesterday's excuse: I strained my knee while helping out on the White House Easter egg hunt.

Today's excuse: The president has invited me back for a three-legged race.

Yesterday's excuse: I have jury duty.

Today's excuse: Turns out it's the Timothy McVeigh trial. I could be here a while. No, that isn't Rex Barney's voice in the background.

Yesterday's excuse: My car's in the shop.

Today's excuse: They're still fixing the transmission and ... excuse me. Hey, two Buds over here!

Yesterday's excuse: The Dow fell 157 points and I feel just sick about it.

Today's excuse: Opening Day got postponed and I feel just sick about it.

Pub Date: 4/02/97

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