Cross Street Market sells '96 flowers at '56 prices

January 02, 1996|By MICHAEL OLESKER

Brand-new years arrive bearing brand-new anxieties. It's all uncharted territory out there, and the landscape is filled with dangers. What if '96 turns out worse than '95? Is that possible? Is that legal? Fortunately for everyone, help and inspiration have arrived with (ELLIPSES)...

Twenty-Five Reasons to Go On Living:

1. Nation of Islam Security hasn't asked for the security contract at the Owings Mills mall.

2. Nearly a hundred people have signed up to run for congressional seats, and not one of them is named Ellen Sauerbrey. Think of it: Elections that might actually be decided on the day of the actual elections.

3. Robert Irsay's on the road to recovery in Indianapolis. Slight tactical error: They should have taken him to the hospital in a Mayflower Moving Van.

4. If you start today, you probably can find a parking space at Towson Town Center in time for next year's Christmas shopping. But, just in case, pack provisions.

5. Kurt L. Schmoke says he's ready to be the mayor of Baltimore, and Larry Gibson's thinking of letting him.

6. Three words: personal seat licenses. When you hear the prices, won't it feel good to tell Art Modell what he can do with his personal seat?

7. The dealers on North Caroline Street have introduced new Crack Lite.

8. The next time you go to the movies, you'll only have to sit through about 45 minutes of real estate commercials and such before you get to see the movie for which you paid $14 for two tickets and another $12 for popcorn and Cokes.

9. Melting polar ice caps will eventually make for great surfing through the Inner Harbor.

10. When Kweisi Mfume goes seeking financial aid for his beleaguered NAACP, he can say the most powerful words in that organization's recent history: "I'm not Benjamin Chavis. I knew Benjamin Chavis. And I'm not him."

11. Parris Glendening and Harry Hughes have been spotted together. Probably exchanging charisma tips.

12. You can still rent bowling shoes at Patterson Lanes on Eastern Avenue for only 50 cents.

13. Peter Angelos hasn't yet delivered an ultimatum: Whatever breaks you're giving Art Modell on his stadium lease, you'd better give 'em to me, too.

14. The inmate population's down at the Supermax prison. Thus, the guys no longer have to share their hair dryers.

15. The best things in life are still free. Such as 911.

16. The merger of BGE and Pepco. Now we'll have the resources of two great corporations working together, and you'll still lose your power if a cloud passes over.

17. It's 1996 we're entering, but you can still buy fresh flowers at Cross Street Market for prices resembling 1956.

18. The ever-popular live broadcasts of Baltimore City Council meetings. Council members like them, because they can show their families they have actual jobs. But they dislike them, because that sneaky TV camera's always catching members trying to read the latest "Marmaduke" comic strip.

19. Cal's streak is still alive. If he can go to work every day, so can you.

20. Even now, Parris Glendening is polishing his State of the State address, which can't possibly top last year's inclusion of "The Wind Beneath My Wings."

21. You don't want to miss any of the coming news coverage of Kathleen Kennedy Townsend's next major news conference.

22. Atlantic City says its casinos are now responsible for 41,000 new jobs, new moderate-priced housing, the cutting in half of the homeless rate, and millions in new tourist money. It's nice to know somebody's making a buck, even if the thinkers in Maryland have already made up their minds casinos are bad news.

23. It's still a thrill to watch Paul Tagliabue sit on Jack Kent Cooke's lap while Cooke pulls his strings.

24. The Browns should be arriving soon, so we can start remembering how much we should have enjoyed the Stallions.

25. There are still 103 days left until income taxes are due.

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