Boog, The Babe, and a pair of major-league ballpark bozos

THIS JUST IN. . .

July 17, 1995|By DAN RODRICKS

Further proof of the wisdom in not naming the new ballpark after Babe Ruth: Couple of guys were walking through Camden Yards recently, and one of them said: "I seen in the paper where they messed up the glove on the Boog Powell statue." (Thanks to eavesdropper Chris Esgar for that one.)

Lit up, two ways

One night recently, Robert Francis, a BGE gas fitter, was driving his truck on Interstate 95 near Arbutus when he came upon a bus transporting a bachelor party. A couple of lickered-up cowboys inside dropped their Dockers and flashed their backsides against the rear windows -- right at Francis. The BGE man just happened to have a spotlight on the roof of his cab -- and did a little flashing of his own. "I hit them with 500,000 candlepower," he says with glee, "and lit them up real good. That put them down fast. The rest of the guys in the bus broke into applause."

Bits and pieces

Conductor's announcement on a northbound Amtrak train: "This station is BWI. It is not Baltimore. If you don't know what BWI is, it's not your stop." . . . Declaration on a license plate holder on a Spot-a-Pot truck, spotted on Route 175, Columbia: "I'd rather be golfing." . . . I don't understand all the squawk about Del. Nathaniel Oaks charging the state for a phone with an unlisted number. I mean, it's not like he's inaccessible. You can always call the Downtown Athletic Club and have him paged. . . . Up in Bel Air, Bill Niles was expressing concern about the the threat of various communicable diseases around the world, including the "Blue Bonnet Plague." (And that pretty much ended the use of margarine in the Niles household.) . . . Somebody please tell Baltimore City Councilman John Cain that T-shirt, shorts and boots is the proper attire for repointing brick on a rowhouse -- not council meetings. . . . Just what Essex needs -- an auto race track, more noise, more pollution, more smells, more guys in tank tops drinking too many beers in the sun.

They call it puppy love

Our Remington correspondent Ingmar Burger checks in from the party scene:

"Last year, Kelly Lane, South Baltimore artist, barmaid and undisputed queen of Riverside Park, threw a birthday party for Bob in the park. All of Bob's friends attended and it was quite a festive occasion, lots of people, cakes, party hats, and some bones. Did I mention Bob is Kelly's dog? This year's party was a scaled-back affair -- just a few friends and some dog biscuits. After all, in dog-years Bob is 14, and you know how teen-agers feel about their moms making a fuss." . . . Ah yes, people and their pets. Here's an excerpt from a wedding announcement in the Carroll County Times: "Best men were Derrick Palmer and Jay Palmer, sons of the groom. Ushers were Corey Maddrix and Timmy Maddrix, sons of the bride. The ring bearer was Toby Palmer, the family dog."

Touched by bliss

Today's sunset memory is from Mary Ann Kessler, Abingdon:

"This past fall I went with my family on a late afternoon sail on our small boat. Starting from the crowded, choppy mouth of Middle River, we headed out to the breezy expanse of the Chesapeake. The western sky was blazing red, soft pink to the east. The water was green-blue, touched with yellow, iced with silver. Surrounded by this kind of beauty, even my school-age children were content to sit quietly and let the senses feast. I sat on the bow as we headed back into shore and chose just the right moment to look at my family sitting in the cockpit. Framed against the darkening eastern sky, the sun illuminated their beings with a soft glow. Their eyes were like the water, mixed colors and reflections. In that moment, I felt I was looking at their souls. . . . I think I will look for the rest of life for that combination of time, weather and geography to recreate the beauty I witnessed in that moment.

Separated at birth?

So, now that you've seen the photographic evidence, whaddaya think? Phil Regan and Spiro Agnew -- anybody ever seen these two in the same dugout or courtroom together? Agnew once pleaded nolo contendere. If things don't pick up for the Orioles, Regan will be pleading nolo contender.

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