Think talk radio is starting to get out of...


April 27, 1995|By THEO LIPPMAN JR.

SOME PEOPLE think talk radio is starting to get out of hand, but it's been this way through the years . . .

RUSH: Let's go to Seth in Annapolis!

SETH: Dittos from Crabtown! Say, Rush, what are those pinkos in Philly up to! I mean, a strong federal government! No thanks!

RUSH: That's right! The Articles of Confederation may need a little improving, but a completely new Constitution! Those liberal wackos! I warned you people about Ben Franklin and Jimmy Madison! . . .

RUSH: It's Nathaniel in Boston!

NATHANIEL: Mega-dittos from the home of the Cabots and Lodges! Hey! This Andy Jackson! What is that backwoods jerk trying to do to the Bank of the United States!

RUSH: Good point! You know, friends, some of these liberal idiots keep saying that the bank is good only for the rich! But as I have been telling you people, it is the small depositor that King Andrew and his left-wingers are threatening! . . .

RUSH: Let's go to Beauregard in Natchez!

BEAUREGARD: Meg-guh-ditt-toes from the cotton belt!

RUSH: Right on, reb! What's on your mind!

BEAUREGARD: Rush, whuts that ugly ape in Washington City tryin to do to us! Slavery is jus whuts bes for all! We dont tell yall how to handle yo cuhled folk! And we dont need no damn Yankees tellin us how to handle ours!

RUSH: Listen, I told you people that if Abraham Lincoln won it would be the end of the Union! You are right! Abe the ape is afraid of the cry-baby abolitionists! It's not the government's business! I say leave it to the plantation owners and the slaves to work it out themselves!

BEAUREGARD: You are a fine gennulmun, suh! . . .

RUSH: Mike, on a horse-and-buggy-phone in Scarsdale!

MIKE: Rush! can you believe! this income tax! congress! is proposing!

RUSH: They're Bolsheviks! It's not the government's money! It's not! It's not! It's communism to take away people's hard earned money! The Left always wants to do that! Don't pay! Don't pay! . . .

RUSH: Bev in Chicago! You're on!

BEV: A real woman's dittos, Rush! Rush, we don't want the vote! Why don't these butch suffragettes leave us alone to cook and sew and take care of our husbands!

RUSH: They are feminazis! That's why! They want to destroy the God-ordained relationship between man and woman to give more power to the government! . . .

RUSH: Now it's to Larry in Honolulu!

LARRY: Hula hula dittos! Rush, don't you think we ought to be beefing up our armed forces, what with the Japanese and Germans --

RUSH: No! No! No! I keep telling you people! FDR is lying to scare you so he can get more power! Foreign wars aren't our concern! . . .

* * * * *

GORDON: Okay, caller, you're on with the G Man!

LEE: This is Lee, in Dallas . . . .

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