I don't want to frighten you, but the health of the entire population of Central County is in danger. We are being pursued by a pair of nasty viruses. One is too miserable to describe. The other is an upper respiratory flu you'll recognize when you start saying things like, "Gee, I keep turning up the heat, but I can't get warm." That's phase one.
In phase two, muscles twist to new levels of pain, while the brain seems to temporarily shut down. Just when the aches and chills subside, the COUGH, known as the I don't want to inhale because every time I exhale I cough cough, arrives. The only bright spots in all this suffering are the medical martinis dispensed by the teaspoonfuls.
Don't worry. With moderate pain control and 15 hours of sleep a day, the virus will pass and you'll be as good as new.
County Executive John G. Gary will be the guest speaker at the Greater Severna Park Chamber of Commerce's annual installation dinner on Jan. 26 at the Magic Dish restaurant.
New officers are President Betty Butler; 1st Vice President Patricia Coulter; 2nd Vice President Barbara Baumgartner; Treasurer Jim Curtis and Secretary Cheryl Schmidt.
The board of directors includes Bob Hofford, Grace Johnson, George Moran, Dr. Carl Rogge and Jean Zemo. Penny Hopkins, immediate past present, is chairman.
The evening begins with a cash bar at 6 p.m., and dinner at 7 p.m. The price for members and guests is $25, for nonmembers $30. For more information, call Linda Zahn at 987-6625.
"Stories of Color From Around the World," a combination of traditional folklore, fable and original writings, will be presented at 7 p.m. Feb. 1 at the Severna Park branch library to commemorate Black History Month.
Master storyteller Len Cabral's free program of mime, poetry and song is a treat for audiences ages six through adult.
Seating is first-come, first-served. Donations of nonperishable food for the county food bank are welcome. Information: 222-7371.
The American Cancer Society's Discovery Shop is having a sale on all kinds of books and record albums through Saturday. The shop is open daily from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Information: 544-0568.
SPY Swimming of Anne Arundel County -- you may remember it as the Severna Park YMCA swim team -- is holding practices at three locations: Anne Arundel Community College, Severna Park Racquet Club and the YMCA, hence the name change.
What hasn't changed, is the team's winning ways. SPY's 10-and-under girls' freestyle relay team is listed as number one in the nation for 1994. The team of Laine Harris of Annapolis, Anna Kavetsky and Kathleen Nelson of Crofton, and Christina Wise of Severna Park won their 200-yard freestyle relay with a time of 1:53.31, two-tenths of a second off the national record.
Also ranked in U.S. Swimming's Top Sixteen are Nora Grannell of Crofton, who placed fifth in the 17-18 girls' 100-yard backstroke with a time of 56.58, and Laine Harris, who placed 15th in the 50-yard backstroke with a time of 31:28.
Old Mill High School is looking for former concert band members to help celebrate the school's 20th anniversary. A concert is planned for 3 p.m. April 30. All band members are invited to participate.
For more information, call William Selway at 969-9010, or Lesley Wacker at 760-5067.
Severna Park United Methodist Church welcomes new youth choir director Kerryanne Salisbury. A music education major, Ms. Salisbury teaches general music at Crofton, and Old Mill North and South middle schools.
Wednesday night is choir night at the church all singers, age preschool to adults. For more information, call 987-4700.