Resolve not to

January 04, 1995|By Karen Welsh Martin

I MAKE THE best New Year's resolutions. You should see them. I begin thinking about them in late November and really put a lot of effort into them.

I buy a new notebook each year, especially for my resolutions, so I can list them on the first page and use the rest of the pages to record my progress. I staple a calendar to the Karen notebook so I can keep a daily record of how I'm doing. I list the resolutions in order of importance and sometimes make an alternate list putting them in order of which ones I want to get to first. I have also listed them alphabetically and once even did them in calligraphy. This year I am considering working out a program for my resolutions on my computer.

They make an outstanding impression on the people who see my resolution book and I am always very proud of them. The only thing that I am not proud of is that I have never kept them -- not even one year. Well, I have stuck to a resolution or two for a day or maybe a little longer, but usually I just decide that maybe I will skip just one time, and then another, and before you know it, it's Jan. 10, and it's absolutely against my principles to begin resolutions on any other day than Jan. 1. Face it, by the middle of January, who even cares about your old New Year's resolutions anyway. I mean, that's yesterday's news.

One year I did exceptionally well and actually did 72 of my 73 alphabetized resolutions for six days. It was exhausting. By the time I exercised, brushed my hair 100 strokes, tidied my house, read a chapter of a classic, did a good deed daily, moisturized my face, flossed and tried out a new recipe while counting fat calories, there wasn't enough time for the last resolution -- to get eight hours of sleep each night -- so I decided, "No Way! I can't let all of these resolutions ruin my health. Sleep is very important, yes sir!" So I stopped all of that nonsense immediately.

If I stuck to all of my resolutions. I am sure I would be a much better person. I would be slim and well read with shiny, silky hair and just have a special glow about me. But, if I were perfect, what would there be left for me to resolve to do? A New Year's without resolutions wouldn't be any fun at all.

My main resolution this year -- and the one that I will stick to -- is to wish that 1995 will be good to everyone!

Karen Welsh Martin writes from Millersville.

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