OUR friend the Sensitive Male was distraught as he asked...

Salmagundi

November 22, 1994

OUR friend the Sensitive Male was distraught as he asked, "Do you know this song, 'Sioux City Sue'?"

All of us of a certain age know the song, we replied, but we were surprised that SM knew about it, since it has been neither sung nor spun since 1954.

"Nineteen-fifty-four! The year of the Army-McCarthy hearings! Ozzie and Harriet! And that song!" snorted SM.

We explained that we didn't mean any particular year, we just meant that "Sioux City Sue's" popularity was 40 years ago, maybe more. Anyway, what about "Sioux City Sue?"

"What about it? What about it? What about likening women to livestock?" SM burst into song, in curious tones blending country-Western twang with horrified indignation:

I'm gonna rope and tie her up,

I'll use my old lasso [pronounced las-soo];

I'm gonna put my brand on

My sweet Sioux City Sue.

Very nice, we said, and responded with the chorus:

Sioux City Sue,

Sioux City Sue,

Your hair is red, your eyes are blue,

I'd swap my hoss and dog for you . . .

SM's eyes bulged. "Trade a woman for animals? It's degrading."

"No, it's cool," said the Very Young Animal Rights Activist, who now entered the conversation for the first time. "Animals are equal to people. I like the song."

We sauntered away, leaving the SM and the VYARA to raise each other's consciousnesses. We whistled and walked a little bow-legged, imagining ourselves as a lovesick New-braska cowboy come to I-o-way to court a winsome redhead:

There ain't no gal as true

as my sweet Sioux City Sue.

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