Sports call-in radio show resolves baseball strike

August 08, 1994|By MIKE ROYKO

There's only one way to appreciate the full impact of a baseball strike on the true fan. And that is to catch the popular 24-hour sports call-in show on WBAM, with hosts Billy Babble and Jake Jamoke. So let's listen in:

"Yo, we got Joe from Stickney out there on his car phone. Yo, how you doin', Stickney Joe, yo?"

"Hey, Billy and Jake, you know, you guys are doing a great job there, hey, hey?"

"Yo, thanks there, Stickney Joe, so what's up, what's doin', what ya say, what ya know, hey, Joe, yo, yo?"

"Hey, hold on. I got some hot coffee in my cup holder that's sloshing around, you know, hey?"

"Yo, sure, coffee, how you doin' coffee, coffee, yo?"

"Hey, guys, it's OK now, and did I say what a great job you guys do, hey?"

"Yo, gotcha, Stickney Joe, and we think you're doin' a great job, too, Joe, yo, what ya know?"

"Hey, tell ya the truth, I ain't got no job, that's why I ride around in my car all day callin' the sports shows and talkin' to youse guys, hey?"

"Yo, that's what we're here for, and that's what you're there for, you know, Joe, yo?"

"Hey, gotcha. So what's goin' on?"

"Yo, you called us, Joe, you know?"

"Hey, that's right. I did call youse guys. So's I got a question, hey?"

"Yo, gotcha. So what's the question, Stickney Joe, yo?"

"Hey, the question, that's right. I got a question. Lemme remember. Hey, I got it. What about this baseball strike stuff, hey?"

"Yo, you got it, Joe, that's right, what about this strike stuff, yo?"

"Hey, I been thinking about it and I think I got it figured out, what this strike stuff is all about, hey?"

"Yo, way to go, Stickney Joe, so tell us moe, Joe, what's it all about, yo?"

"Hey, you know, the way I figure it, the players, they want to get paid more, right, hey?"

"Yo, gotcha, Joe, way to go, yo?"

"Hey, and then there's the owners. The way I figure it, the owners, they want to make more profit, hey?"

"Yo, could be, Joe, you might got something there, yo?"

"Hey, so I figure that if the players are looking to get paid more, and the owners are trying to make more, then there's only one thing that this is all about, hey?"

"Yo, I think you might really got something there, Joe, you know? So the players want to get paid more, and the owners want to make more. So what's it all about, Joe, yo?"

L "Hey, I think it's one of those money deals, you know, hey?"

"Yo, you mean it's one of those old dough-rey-me deals, yo, Joe?"

"Hey, that's the way I figure it. Like it ain't the dinger or the round-tripper or the ribbie that really counts with these guys. Or hikin' the ol' battin' average and lowering the ol' ERA. It's the ol' money deal, so what ya think, hey?"

"Yo, so you're sayin' you think it's one of these what's-in-it-for me deals, where everybody is trying to make a buck and lookin' out for No. 1, Joe, yo?"

"Hey, I'm startin' to have my suspicions, you know, hey?"

"Yo, that's heavy stuff, Joe, a very serious charge, if you know what I mean, Joe, yo?"

"Hey, yeah, that's why I called youse guys when I thought about it because youse guys tell it like it is, or like it was, or like it will be, even if it ain't yet, you get my drift?"

"Yo, got the drift, Joe, yo."

"Hey, and I figure that if there's a strike, the season will be gone forever, like it didn't happen, and what are we gonna put in its place, which can't be done, hey?"

"Yo, that's real heavy stuff, Joe, yo know, yo?"

"Hey, yeah, and I got it figured out how the players don't have to strike and they'll still make more money and the owners will make more profit, and then we won't miss a season and there won't be no hole in history."

"Yo, gotcha, Joe, so how do we do it, yo?"

"Hey, the president, whatsis name?"

"Yo, you mean Clinton, yo?"

"Hey, that's him, yeah. So, what President Clinton gotta do is pass a law so the players don't pay no income tax. That way, the owners don't have to pay them more, but the players get to keep more 'cuz they don't pay no tax. And when the owners don't have to pay them more, the owners get to make more profit, you know, hey?"

"Yo, gotcha, Joe, and what you say makes sense, yo?"

"Hey, thanks, guys. And when you think about it, they shouldn't have to pay no taxes because playing baseball ain't like a real job. I mean, when I played baseball, I didn't have to pay no taxes, right, hey?"

"Yo, gotcha, Stickney Joe, you hit the head with the nail. You do a great job, yo?"

"Hey, that's what bein' a real fan is all about."

"Yo."

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