Now that Leonard Coleman and Gene Budig have assumed the...

WINNERS AND LOSERS

June 12, 1994

Now that Leonard Coleman and Gene Budig have assumed the helms of the National and American leagues, respectively, there is still a giant vacuum in baseball's leadership circle. The commissioner's office has been vacant for over a year, and "Winners and Losers" has assembled a list of serious and not so serious candidates to fill the post.

CANDIDATES .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... COMMENT

Madonna .. .. .. Winner .. .. Really knows the players.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Really knows the game.

DTC Michele McCloud ... Winner .. Never seen, never heard from

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. and no one knows what she does.

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. The perfect owner's candidate.

Hilary Clinton ... Winner ... If she can sell health care to

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. Congress, she can sell a salary

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. cap to the players.

Bob Barker .. ... Winner ... Would cut costs by replacing

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... ... middle infielders with ballgirls.

Jack Kevorkian ... Winner ... Could shorten interminably long

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... games by instituting sudden death

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. ... overtime.

George Mitchell .. Loser .. ... Reported favorite for job has already

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. exhibited weird judgment by turning

.. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. .. down Supreme Court post.

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