Worker shows true sportsmanship, albeit at Boog's expense


April 27, 1994|By DAN RODRICKS

Rafael Palmeiro hit a home run in Saturday's game at Oriole Park and caused all kinds of mayhem. The ball went into the right field flag court, and the crowd went nuts trying to get it. Dave Walcher, who was there, says a woman sitting on the flag court pavement, eating one of Boog's great beefy sandwiches, got smashed. So did her sandwich. But get this: One of Boog's employees replaced the sandwich. For nothing. Which is nice. But what I want to know is: Does Boog know about this?

Happily unmarried

About a year ago, her daughter's friend stared at Peggy

Massey and said: "I'm having a vision. You're going to be married. I'll eat this table if you're not married within the next year." Peggy, a nurse eight years divorced, said, "Well, I hope you like wood." A year passed. No Mr. Right. The psychic's forecast became a big joke with Peggy, her friends and her patients at Meridian, Loch Raven. When the year was up, she started to plan an "unwedding celebration." Friends threw an unwedding shower during happy hour at a bar. "That way we didn't have to buy any food," Peggy says. "My friend, Pauline Salzano, was my matron of dishonor. I got lovely shower gifts. Like the puce-green mug with red plastic beads that had 'Ben' written on it; Ben was a patient in a psych ward. We had the best time. At my unwedding, no one could wear anything they'd wear to a real wedding. One friend came dressed as Groucho Arafat -- a Groucho face and suit with an Arafat headdress. My daughter gave me a Betty Boop haircut, a fingerwave, and I had to go out to buy more balloons. I went out with my hair that way, and you know what? No one in the store thought it was the least bit unusual. I had a three-layer unwedding cake that was tilted and had a picture of a really good-looking guy in a bubble bath with a cowboy hat. We served baloney and Velveeta with Saltines. It was served with blue Kool Aid. I got a lot of tacky gifts, like a gold plastic lamp with a red plastic globe, and out-of-date condoms and a ceramic rainbow. My 6-foot-3 son-in-law came in a lavender-and-white floral dress. It was a joy." Next year at this time, Peggy will be celebrating her first unwedding anniversary.

Time stealer

Overheard from two 30-something women walking across Keswick Road, Hampden, under Monday night's big moon:

"What are you standing out here for, talking for? Get that pizza across the street. Come on, let's go."

"I was just being nice."

"Hurry up. I need to eat, and I need a Double-A battery."

"Where am I gonna get a Double-A battery from, 10 o'clock at night?"

` "From your clock."

A bridge too far

Something incredible happened on the Beltway Monday morning and, as far as I can tell, not a single traffic reporter, not even the airborne ones, got the story. A certain individual who wishes to remain nameless -- actually, the guy has a name; he just doesn't want it appearing in The Sun -- was driving on the Inner Loop near Towson when he felt a sneeze coming on. This certain individual, a self-employed contractor who resides along Loch Raven Boulevard, reached frantically for the driver-side window crank. Suddenly, there was an explosion. And a major emission. "Aah-ccchhhooooooo!" The man had rolled the window down just enough. Just in time. But there was just one problem. The sneeze took the man's uppers with it -- out onto the Beltway. "But he pulled over and went back for them," said the guy's next door neighbor. "Car's were zoomin' by him, and he still managed to find his uppers and get them. Took them to the dentist and only one tooth was missing." By the late afternoon, the daring man was home, happily working on his deck -- nameless, but not toothless.

A heartless act

Al Jolson lives. His spirit suddenly invaded the body of a would-be singer at a fund-raiser last Saturday for the American Heart Association's Howard County chapter. The act came during a loud affair at the Turf Valley Country Club that featured a yappy emcee accompanied by annoyingly loud music. Costumed "celebrity" waiters and waitresses raised money by charging for silverware, water and iced tea. Entertainment consisted of "challenges" from guests willing to make contributions to the association if others accepted their dares to dance, sing or both. One celebrity waitress dressed as a nun was challenged to kiss a waiter who wore a devil's suit. Cute. Not so cute was the man who gleefully accepted a challenge to sing "Mammy." Someone smarter to the mean history of that song might have refused the challenge -- even if it meant losing a few bucks for the charity. "Mammy," even when sung without blackface, is a throwback to the age when blacks were blatantly ridiculed on stage and screen, often by white performers, such as Jolson. It's a song that stirs the blood. But the man sang it, and several patrons took a walk -- right out the door.

Little League in Life

Harry Connolly's photograph of Highlandtown Little Leaguer Wilbur Cox, the kid with the Bazooka Bubblegum face, is on display, along with other prints from Connolly's "Patterson Park Portfolio," at Gomez Gallery, Leadenhall Street, South Baltimore. Connolly and the little leaguers will be signing copies of the May issue of Life, which carries the Highlandtown photos, at the gallery tonight.

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