MENCKEN for Monday:"It was we Americans who invented the...

salmagundi

February 28, 1994

MENCKEN for Monday:

"It was we Americans who invented the curious doctrine that there is a body of doctrine in every department of thought that every good citizen is in duty bound to accept and cherish; it was Americans who invented the right-thinker. . . . In the face of this singular passion for conformity, this dread of novelty and originality, it is obvious that the man of vigorous mind and stout convictions is gradually shouldered out of public life. He may slide into office once or twice, but soon or late he is bound to be held up, examined and incontinently kicked out. This leaves the field to intellectual jelly-fish and inner tubes."

1% -- The Evening Sun, July 26, 1920

* * *

UNTIL the detailed drawings and laboratory reports are received we can formulate no opinion as to the practical efficiency of the noiseless soup-spoon lately invented by Prof. H. S. Campbell, a St. Louis wizard. . . Living in St. Louis, he has been deafened full often . . . by the cacophonous sounds of victualing. The hotels out there, in an effort to drown the uproar during the soup course, employ relays of cornetists, trombonists and percussionists to 'render selections,' as the Westerners say, from the works of George M. Cohan and Richard Strauss. But in vain. A Missourian, try as he will, cannot eat soup pianissimo, and a trombonist, try as he will, cannot play louder than FFFFFFFF so the sound is that of a mighty surf beating upon a rocky shore.

-- The Evening Sun, Dec. 14, 1910

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