Enduring pain proves to be key to winning OLYMPICS '94 A SPECTATOR'S SPORT

No pain, no gain, etc.: After success of gold medalist Oksana Baiul (three stitches in leg following practice collision) and silver medalist Nancy Kerrigan (knee used as pinata by thuggish amateur hitman), bronze figure skating medalist Chen Lu of China said she briefly considered dropping a cinderblock on her ankle to induce internal bleeding.

She settled for a brisk whack upside the head from her coach.

Fair's fair: In wake of Tonya Harding do-over in women's long program because of skate boot problem, '69 Colts now petitioning NFL to replay Super Bowl III, claiming QB Earl Morrall played most of 16-7 loss to Jets with loose shoulder pads.

No Barry Manilow tunes, either: A fresh scandal may be swirling around Nancy Kerrigan for her decision to skate to Neil Diamond melodies, which are considered a controlled substance (sedatives) by International Olympic Committee.

They're reindeer, not Ford Rangers: Norwegian SPCA flooded with complaints that jumbo-sized CBS weatherman Mark McEwen traveled around Lillehammer in a sleigh pulled by struggling reindeer unaccustomed to pulling such a load.

Alternate viewing: "Sesame Street," 8 a.m., MPT. Big Bird wonders aloud about his/her asexuality.