Caps should cut the dozing, or the prices

January 27, 1994|By Phil Jackman

Reading Time: Two Minutes.

If the Washington Capitals are not going to perform with any more verve than they displayed while being bopped by Boston Tuesday night, perhaps the club should consider dropping ticket prices a bit. The Caps' next home loss comes Sunday beginning at noon against Detroit.

* The Boston Celtics have always had the reputation of being a team-oriented organization, and all you have to do is look at the club statistics to see that things don't change much even when they don't win: Their top six players carry scoring averages of 13.8 points (Dino Radja), 13.7, 13.6, 13.4, 13.3 and 13.0 (Robert Parish).

* Comedy Central's contribution to the modern day cornerstone of American culture, the Super Bowl, will have Martin Mull scouring Atlanta for a week in search of a one-armed man who stole his ticket to the game. (Why not have Harrison Ford play the part?) Elements of "Fernwood Tonight" and "Road to the Super Bowl" will be included and NFL Films will put a "young adult" spin on the game itself for showing Feb. 5. CC is into 30 million homes.

* A scene from a hockey game, the participants being 6 and 7 years old, one isn't about to forget in a hurry: There's no door on the penalty box at the rink, so the referee had to lift the tykes over the boards and into the sin bin. Then, almost without fail, the kids sat there sobbing for two minutes.

* Talk of an arena downtown next to Fort OPACY sounds very exciting, but will Baltimore and environs support the winter sports of basketball and hockey in sufficient numbers to ensure large crowds for at least 250 events per year?

* It's not as bad as it sounds, 42 acres of Flushing Meadow parkland being given over to a $180 million expansion plan at the National Tennis Center, site of the U.S. Open. It's pretty rough in some of the secluded areas of the park and once in awhile you even run across a hypodermic needle or two laying around.

* Ferdie Pacheco, the "Fight Doctor" who will work the pay-per-view boxing card Saturday night, says "I'm looking forward to Razor Ruddock's return to the ring. But I'm wondering what Ruddock is going to show up: the crazy-punching guy who got where he was because of his crazy style, or the guy they tried to change when he was in his mid-20s. What a mistake."

* It's absolutely painful to look at the NBA standings and see how many bad to terrible teams there are. Yes, the Bullets win only a third of the time and are most wretched, but there are five other teams in the 12/13-win category, a couple more just a tad better and then there are the Dallas Mavericks. They bring a 2-38 record into the USAir Arena tonight. It's not a sellout.

* Gee, what a snooty guy player agent Alan Meersand is, huh? He says he's no longer going to represent Lenny Dykstra, because, "He curses at women and children and has no respect for anything, including himself." Meersand was on the job for 12 years before he found these things out.

* Three cheers for Wayne Gretzky's idea designed to make something out of the moribund NHL All-Star Game. The Great One suggests a team of Canadians take on a squad made up of guys from everywhere else. You can bet there would be some hitting.

* Mark it down, gang, the first story about what teams are going to be appearing in the NCAA basketball tournament, otherwise known as "March Madness," appeared in USA Today yesterday, fully six weeks ahead of time. A guy on the selection committee is quoted as saying "80-85 teams still have a real shot" for the 64 spots. Which probably means Lefty Driesell's team, James Madison, is probably on the bubble.

* The only problem with Willie Mays chiding godson Barry Bonds for not showing up at a banquet to collect his third National League MVP Award is that folks had a terrible time getting Willie to show up at anything unless the appearance money involved was exceptional.

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