A channel for everyone

December 31, 1993|By Ken Parish Perkins | Ken Parish Perkins,Dallas Morning News

Though there are many questions about the impending cable network explosion, what is certain is that more and more channels are coming whether you want them, need them or will ever even see them.

Here is a guide to some of the planned channels, with projected dates and some helpful explanations.

* FXTV: Fitness and Exercise Television (July 1994) -- Will feature every type of exercise program, from walking and jogging to aerobics and weights. The hosts will be athletes, instructors and some celebrities who probably don't know a thing about fitness but look good enough to pretend.

* Cable Health Club (January 1994) -- Hourly workouts and information, including aerobics, fitness training and healthful-living segments. Just because one fitness channel isn't enough.

* The Health Channel (mid-1994) -- Not to be confused with the other fitness and health channels, THC will air "fair and impartial" information about significant developments in medicine and wellness, revealing why all that bouncing around probably isn't good for you anyway.

* The Game Channel (mid-1994) -- Games, games everywhere. Interactive games, mostly: Viewers play along by using touch-tone phones. Winners get cash, merchandise and a few minutes of fame.

* The Game Show Channel (mid-1994) -- Plans on rehashing 35,000 episodes of 50 game shows we've come to love over the years, from "Wheel of Fortune" to "Jeopardy!" and "Family Feud." Wow.

* Gaming & Entertainment Network (March 1994) -- Featured programming: interactive games, live simulcast racing, shopping, news. Spotlights gaming venues (casinos, lotteries, cruise lines, riverboats). Sounds like The Gambler's Channel to me.

* Arts and Americana Network (late 1994) -- Which shouldn't be confused with Americana Network, even though it too focuses on country, bluegrass videos, news and information.

* Global Village Network (late 1994) -- International business and lifestyle programming. 'Nuff said.

* Our World Television (late 1994) -- News, sports, sitcoms, everything any other red-blooded American network offers, except that this one is aimed at gays and lesbians.

* The Golf Channel (spring 1994) -- Don't laugh; a lot of people thought that ESPN, which professes to cover all sports, would never fly.

* Arts and Antiques Network (December 1994) -- Live and taped coverage of cultural festivals and historic re-enactments; programs on the cultural aspects of art and antiques; the history of objects and their meaning in society; restoration, preservation, care. Sounds about as exciting as The Golf Channel.

* Camnet (late 1994) -- Hoping to ride on our love affair with video cameras, this is 24 hours of "I Witness Video": minidocumentaries shot with 8mm home video cameras, that sort of thing.

* Canal Sur (late 1994) -- Direct retransmission of broadcast TV from Central America, South America and the Caribbean. It's like having a shortwave radio with pictures.

* Canal + (late 1994) -- "The Best of Europe" channel from the successful French pay-TV service. For those with European sensibilities.

* Employment Channel (late 1994) -- Job listings, how-to segments on finding jobs, dressing for success, interviewing techniques.

* FYI: The Consumer Channel (late 1994) -- Infomercials all day, all the time. Magazine-style format with program-length commercials anchored by -- who else -- celebrities who need the dough.

* The World African Network (June 1994) -- Black-oriented network that will feature movies, television series, news, talk shows and information aimed at the country's 30 million African-Americans.

* Adam and Eve Channel (mid-1994) -- Fig-leafed soft porn aimed at the adult crowd.

* MOR Music TV (mid-1994) -- Music channel that features MOR (middle-of-the-road) pop and rock videos, news and information.

* Musivision (mid-1995) -- Hispanic music and entertainment for those who watch Spanish-language programs and wonder what they're saying. Just for you: the English version.

* Viva Television Network (late 1994) -- Movies, sports, comedy, news, children's shows and music for the Latino audience. (Not for those who haven't bothered to learn the language.) Exclusive programming will be featured from the United States, Mexico, Puerto Rico and South America.

* QVC Fashion Channel -- Fashion news and interactive buying; sort of a home shopping network of top designers.

* Horizons Cable Network (late 1994) -- For the intellectually starved: 24 hours of lectures, debates, readings, forums and symposiums from cultural and intellectual institutions. (Perfect for first-time daters.)

* FAD TV: Fashion and Design Television (late 1994) -- A lifestyle channel whose programming will be devoted to fashion and design, travel and entertainment and "the latest cutting-edge trends and styles in modern-day culture."

* Worship (launch date unknown) -- The creators of this channel aren't promoting it or letting the public know when it will appear. Religious programming is a safe guess.

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