Stun guns, Curtis would get fans off field

Phil Jackman

September 29, 1993|By Phil Jackman

Reading Time: Two Minutes.

Hey, baseball, or anyone else who runs into the problem from time to time, do you want to stop showboating or inebriated fans from running out onto the playing field? Then man the security people with stun guns. Or make it known that the penalty transgressors can expect is a good whack on the outside of the knee with a nightstick. And then there's the ol' Mike Curtis Solution.

* Bernard Gallacher, captain of the European team in the Ryder Cup matches, can wax noble all he wants by saying, "We did not lose the Cup, the Americans won it," but Barry Lane's blowing nnTC three-hole lead in the last five holes and Costantino Rocca's losing the last two holes to give the United States two points, the margin of victory, were choke jobs at their most emphatic.

Speaking of the monstrously entertaining Cup competition, doesn't the popularity it has attained (not to mention the marketability) fairly scream that it should be conducted every year?

* Three cheers for the NFL for laying a $10,000 fine on Miami linebacker Bryan Cox for obscenely gesturing at a Buffalo Bills crowd last Sunday. Similar penalties should be laid upon guilty parties in numerous brawls during college games the previous day. Don't worry, most of these student-athletes could handle it.

* Just about the time you get around to thinking Andre Agassi is a pretty neat kid, he pulls a stunt like he did at the Davis Cup challenge match against the Bahamas. Sure, the outcome had been decided, but to refuse to go through with a scheduled two-set match as dictated by the rules was exceedingly bush.

It's why the ploy by Agassi and other young U.S. stars to have John McEnroe named captain by the USTA under the veiled threat of their refusing to compete should be resisted totally.

* A lad named Terrence Wilkins does a pretty good job carrying the mail for Bishop O'Connell High in the Washington area. He ran with the ball just eight times last Saturday and ended up with 267 yards (a 33.4 average). It would have been more, but on five occasions Terry's runs concluded when he entered the end zone.

* John Pennel, who died of liver cancer Sunday at age 53, was a true hero. With Hollywood good looks, Pennel was a charmer yet the toughest of competitors. He appeared in the old Sunpapers All-Eastern Games here in as good a pole vault field as was ever assembled, pitting the first men ever to jump 16 feet, 17 feet (Pennel), 18 feet, plus an Olympic gold medalist.

* This from the World Boxing Council's latest newsletter (after the unpopular draw in the Julio Cesar Chavez-Pernell Whitaker bout): "Controversy has always been a part of boxing. The WBC invests a tremendous amount of time, effort and money in seminars for referees and judges, and strives for objectivity in the most subjective area in sport. Scoring a fight based on effective aggression, clean punches, ring generalship and defense is an area that remains open to personal interpretation." Translation: Vote for Don King's fighter or else.

* Aha, at last the truth comes out. It appears the reason Georgetown is playing Maryland in hoops Nov. 26 after resisting overtures for years (at coach John Thompson's insistence, no doubt) is the Hoyas are linking the USAir Arena clash to its season-ticket plan. The G-Men have been having trouble coming by crowds the past few years.

* Lawyers are well-known for spouting legalese and gobbledygook, but what would you call what NFL commissioner Paul "Empty Suit" Tagliabue said the other day: "The expansion process had made converts out of some of the skeptics . . . they can see the values of expansion in terms of growth." What else does expansion mean but growth?

* Items included in the "Bid for Kids: All-Star Memorabilia Auction" being conducted by the Orioles at Camden Yards on Nov. 12 are autographed balls and jerseys, a base, press pins and souvenir tickets. What, no Fernando Valenzuela?

* Canadian Gary Waite, the No. 1-ranked North American in squash, heads the field at the Merritt Athletic Club Open Pro-Am all this week at the club. The reason for the classy field -- defending champ Anders Wahlstedt is only the sixth seed -- is Baltimore is one of 16 stops on the Head International Grand Prix series. Daily sessions begin at 5 p.m. until the weekend, when play gets started at 8:30 a.m. The pro final is Sunday at 3:30 p.m.

* For all the talk that the nine players Bowling Green suspended for the Navy game probably didn't affect the outcome that much -- the Mids won, 26-20 -- let's remember what the Falcons did in their previous games: They played a strong Virginia Tech team tough before losing on the road, 33-16, then handled Cincinnati handily, 21-7. Cincy had 13th-ranked Syracuse down and nearly out the other day before being edged, 24-21.

* After Temple was beaten by California, 58-0, a couple of weeks ago, new coach Ron Dickerson said, "The time of this [slaughter] was probably good for our team. We're not going to let [the players] forget it." Next game: Boston College 66, Temple 14. The Owls might not improve as a team, but their memories figure to be improved tremendously as the pummelings mount.

* Upbeat coach Mark Duffner, whose Maryland flag-footballers take on Penn State for their fifth straight one-sided loss Saturday, has this to say about his Terps: "It is never quite as good as it seems or as bad as it seems." Does this mean the team isn't as good as its 0-4 record, or that Duke had better watch out Oct. 16?

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