Warning signs of infidelity

August 20, 1993

In a book to be released in September, "Adultery: The Forgivable Sin," New York City family therapist Bonnie Eaker Weil lists signals that might indicate a spouse could be having an extramarital affair.

Don't jump to conclusions, but if your marriage exhibits three or more of these signals, you may want to explore the reasons why, she says:

* Do you receive frequent phone calls in which the caller hangs up?

* Does your spouse participate in whispered conversations to others?

* Are there strange charges on phone bills or credit cards, or has your spouse become secretive about credit card slips?

* Do you make love more or less often?

* Is your spouse spending a lot of time away from home on business trips, nights out with the girls or boys, or leisurely lunches?

* Does your spouse spend extraordinary amounts of time doing good deeds to make up for the guilt?

* Does your spouse go to work earlier or come home later?

* When at home, is your partner restless?

* Does the name of a particular colleague or neighbor pop up regularly in conversations with your partner?

* Does someone your spouse used to mention regularly barely get mentioned at all?

* Is there new dedication by your spouse to a diet or to work out at the gym?

* Has your spouse changed his or her way of dressing?

L * Is your partner more belligerent or provoking more fights?

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