Them what to do in the front seat

"WE TAUGHT

now it's...

July 22, 1993|By THEO LIPPMAN JR.

"WE TAUGHT them what to do in the front seat; now it's time to teach them what to do in the back seat." -- Dr. Joycelyn `D Elders.

Dr. Elders, the surgeon general designate, believes this approach would reduce the number of out-of-wedlock pregnancies and slow the spread of AIDS.

It's a good idea. I like the linkage. But it should go a step further. I propose that the General Assembly amend the Annotated Code of Maryland (changes in italics):

Sec. 16-101. An individual may not drive or attempt to drive a motor vehicle on any State highway unless holding a driver's license and may not have sex or attempt to have sex unless holding a sexual activity license.

Sec. 16-103. (a) Except as provided in subsection (b), the MotoVehicle Administration may not issue a driver's license or a sexual activity license to any individual who is not at least 18 years old. (b) The Administration may issue non-commercial licenses to an individual age 16 to 18 if he or she has completed satisfactorily a driver's education and a sex education course and has completed satisfactorily 6 hours of laboratory and back seat instruction.

Sec. 16-110. The Administration shall examine each applicant for a driver's license or a sexual activity license to determine his or her qualifications for the license applied for. The examinations shall include a test of the applicant's vision, blood, ability to read and understand highway signs and hygiene manuals, knowledge the traffic laws of the State and the birds and the bees, safe driving and safe sex practices.

Sec. 16-111.1. An applicant for a driver's license or a sexual activity license shall pay the Administration a license fee.

Sec. 16-115. An individual may not attempt to drive a motor vehicle or to have sex on any highway or at any other place in this state if the license issued under this title has expired or been revoked.

Sec. 16-205. The Administration may revoke the license of any person who is convicted of driving or attempting to drive or having sex or attempting to have sex while intoxicated or while under the influence of a controlled dangerous substance or, if unmarried, of having sex without using a condom.

Sec. 16-206. The Administration may suspend, revoke or refuse to renew the driver's or sexual activity license of any person who has been convicted of moving violations so often as to indicate an intent to disregard the safety and well-being of other persons, or is an unfit, unsafe, or habitually reckless or negligent driver or lover.

Sec. 16-401. The Administration shall maintain a point system for suspension or revocation of driver's and sexual activity licenses.

Sec. 17-103. The Administration requires a licensee to carry insurance for the payment of claims of up to $20,000 for one person and $40,000 for two or more persons for bodily injury, including transmission of a disease, or death, or birth.

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