Author adds safety to intimacy in updated book on making love

June 09, 1993|By Fort Lauderdale Sun-Sentinel

Alexandra Penney's first book about making love, published 11 years ago, did not even breathe the word condom.

"How to Make Love to a Man," based on interviews with men about what they wanted sexually and emotionally from women, sold a million and a half copies.

"That was the Golden Age of sex," she says. "We had antibiotics and the pill, so the risks were small."

Then came AIDS.

In her newest book, "How to Make Love to a Man (Safely)" ($18), references to condoms of all shapes and colors are splashed throughout.

"It was a decade that made all the difference," says Ms. Penney, editor of Self magazine."The magazine has been very involved in women's health. If we can save just one person's life, that's reason enough for publishing."

"AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases have become such an issue for women," Ms. Penney says. "Women's risk of getting AIDS through unprotected sex with an HIV-infected partner is 17.5 times higher than it is for a man."

Given that reality, she still thinks sex should be sexy and fun.

And her new book, subtitled "A new, intimate guide to sexy sex in the Nineties," offers multiple techniques for making the most intimate experience enjoyable -- even for men who abhor condoms.

Women have to make sure a condom is always used and used properly, even though their partners might resist, she says.

Penney says women told her they don't know how to broach the subject with someone they are attracted to when their relationship nears the intimate stage.

"It has to be done gracefully and charmingly," she says.

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