Honest escort just fine for spin around the floor

SINGLE FILE

June 06, 1993|By Susan Deitz | Susan Deitz,Los Angeles Times Syndicate

Q: I was single for 11 years. Between marriages (ages 32 to 43) I was asked to "escort" several attractive single "ladies" to functions that were important to them. It can be interesting to be a platonic escort, since I found myself doing things I would not have ordinarily done . . . a progressive dinner on a Victorian house tour, a concert by a local symphony orchestra, a political swearing-in party, a chaperon at a high school prom.

And I have also learned that even after one is done serving as an escort, you get introduced to many people you would not meet otherwise. But it was not a chore to do the escorting; I felt honored to accompany these women, because not only were they attractive, they were also good company.

Also, "the rest of the date" does not have to happen, since an ongoing relationship is not necessary. And yes, there are some honest men and women left.

So I considered myself an "honest escort service."

A: "Walkers" are what society calls people who keep themselves on tap for escort duty, going with women to dances and functions they don't want to attend alone. They are usually bright, charming and good dancers. But don't ever fall in love with one of them or ask for more than one night's magic. Their commitment quotient is not deep.

But your experience between marriages put some interesting people -- and places -- into your singleness, proving that life is expanded by a receptive nature. And that goes for men and women both. You never know where a night's invitation can lead.

Q: I have been single for a long time, and I am very happy this way. And I hear over and over again that the best way to meet someone is to be introduced by a friend or relative. That's a great idea, perfect, but don't hold your breath waiting for it to happen. Out of meanness, unwillingness to get involved, or simply because of a "why bother?" attitude, people don't usually fix people up.

I have a great story: I had a (male) friend who would get catatonic in a romantic situation. I happened to meet a girl, introduced him to her (practically put his lips to hers) and so they were married. Months later this friend was having lunch with me and said, "We were out last night and met this lovely widow." So I said to him, "Why don't you introduce me?" To which he answered, "What am I, a marriage broker?"

As a kid I was a door-to-door salesman and got used to rejection, so I don't take it personally. My advice? If you see someone you like, go for it. After a while it will come naturally. Go and introduce yourself, talk up. Don't sit home with the TV channel switcher in your hand and wait for the phone to ring.

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