Dear confused: Get counseling

Kevin Cowherd

April 26, 1993|By Kevin Cowherd

Dear Ann Landers:

I am dating a terrific man. So what's the problem? "Bob" won't tell me anything about himself, even his last name. I don't know where he lives or works.

Every night, we meet at my apartment, where I fix him dinner and we have sex. Then he goes home. When he calls me, he's always whispering. Sometimes you hear children playing in the background.

Then there's this: He wears a small gold band on his left ring finger. He says the ring was given to him by a fraternal order. When I ask him the name of the organization, he says he "can't remember."

Ann, what do you make of his strange behavior?

-- Confused in Columbus, Ohio.

Dear Confused:

"Bob" sounds like a great catch. Your suspicious nature borders on paranoia. I suggest you go for counseling.

Dear Ann Landers:

Some years ago, you printed a wonderful article that touched me unlike anything I had ever read before. It was about how if you work real hard or something, then . . . well, I forget the rest. Or else it was about the value of friendship. Or something to do with raising kids.

Anyway, I clipped that article and pinned it to my refrigerator with one of those fruit magnets. It stayed there for seven years. Then a few weeks ago I went on a bender and didn't come home for two days. Apparently the dog got so hungry that he jumped up and ate the clipping.

I was so mad! It didn't seem enough to shout "Bad doggie!" so I had "Bucky" put to sleep. That was a big mistake. I grew so lonely that I started combing the local pounds for a new dog. But "Bucky" was a pure white Samoyed, and where are you going to find one of those?

Ann, could you reprint that wonderful article?

Hopeful in Helena, Montana

Dear Hopeful: "Bucky" sounds like he had a screw loose. So do you. I urge you to go for counseling.

Dear Ann Landers:

My fiance and I get along fine except for a couple of things. "Eve" keeps calling me jerko, fruitcake, loser, etc. Every time I try to kiss her, she elbows me away and shouts: "Dammit, I'm trying to watch TV." At cocktail parties, whenever I talk to somebody, she stands behind me and rolls her eyes and makes little circles around her temple with her index finger. I've whirled around and caught her doing this many times.

Counting gifts, Broadway tickets, dinners at expensive restaurants, the down payment on her car and the engagement ring, I have spent about $10,000 on "Eve" over the past six months. The only thing she gave me was a lousy Hallmark card on my birthday which said: "Congratulations! It's a baby boy!"

Am I being overly sensitive?

Moping in Manhattan

Dear Moping:

You approach a relationship with a great deal of unrealistic expectations. I implore you to go for counseling.

Dear Ann Landers:

I am so hurt. My sister is getting married in three months. Yesterday, we received an invitation to the wedding, on which was scrawled in ballpoint pen: "No Gypsies!"

Ann, my husband "Drazen" is a Gypsy. We had planned to take his small horse-drawn cart to the ceremony and perhaps do a little fortune-telling, herbal healing and knife sharpening.

Now I don't know what to do.

Anguished in Akron, Ohio

Dear Anguished:

For the sake of family unity, go to the wedding by yourself. Have you and your husband thought about counseling?

Dear Ann Landers:

You were dead wrong in your answer to Doing Time in Texas, the woman who smothered her husband with a plastic bag after he spent the whole weekend watching football on TV.

I agree the fat slob had it coming. But to suggest, as you did, that his body should have been fed to the wolves struck me as a bit much.

Disagreeing in Dallas

Dear Disagreeing:

I heard from about 10,000 other readers who expressed the same opinion. I urge all of you to get counseling.

Dear Ann Landers:

You're always telling people: "Go for counseling, go for counseling."

Has it ever occurred to you that some people simply can't afford counseling?

Boiling Mad in Miami

Dear Boiling:

Toots, you've got a chip on your shoulder the size of Mount McKinley. I urge you to go for counseling.

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