Are correct to praise Dizzy Gillespie's music...

THE EXPERTS

January 12, 1993

THE EXPERTS are correct to praise Dizzy Gillespie's music. We would also like one of his other major talents not to be forgotten. He was the master of the witty put-down of journalists posing silly questions.

Once he was asked by an unimaginative interviewer how he would explain be-bop to an alien from outer space who had just landed in a flying saucer. He replied (rather sensibly when you think of it) that if he saw an alien space creature emerge from a flying saucer he would be too shocked or scared to say anything.

And when on another occasion a reporter asked, rather condescendingly, if his tiny goatee wasn't "an affectation," he quickly shot back, "no, it's a fetish."

* * *

AN El Paso, Texas, man recently called the police, claiming that his rabbits were acting strangely, hopping and bouncing and jumping around a whole lot more than they usually did.

When he was questioned by an officer, the man said that all he'd done that day was feed them some fresh lawn clippings he'd found in a trash can -- just grass.

Yeah. Apparently, as drug-enforcement officials determined upon examining the vegetation, several thousand dollars' worth.

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