Crystal ball reveals all the happenings for new year Don't be puzzled by the predictions for county sports

SIDELINES

January 03, 1993|By PAT O'MALLEY

Just when you thought you had heard the last from Prophet Pat, he's back to start the New Year.

After dusting off his crystal ball, the Prophet is ready to let you know what's in store for the new year in Anne Arundel County sports, as he has been doing for the past 23 years.

You really know your Anne Arundel County sports if you get the joke behind every prediction.

If any of the predictions puzzle you or need to be changed, feel free to give me a buzz on the 24-Hour Sportsline, 647-2499. Here we go:

* 1. Annapolis will breeze to the Class 4A, Region IV championship in boys basketball.

* 2. Annapolis never will invite Christian Brothers Academy of New Jersey to the Capital City Classic again.

* 3. A state championship in boys basketball? Not in this county.

* 4. Old Mill's girls will cruise to the 4A, Region IV basketball title again, but will not repeat as state champion unless Western of Baltimore leaves the state.

* 5. Severn coach Jim Doyle finally will win an outright Maryland Scholastic Association B Conference championship in boys basketball.

* 6. When he learns that Brad Fowler and Jake Mack can't stay around for a fifth year, Doyle will announce his retirement.

* 7. North County will do the impossible and complete a second straight winless season in boys basketball and consider changing its name to Prairie View.

* 8. Old Mill will not repeat as state wrestling champion.

* 9. Severna Park boys basketball coach Wayne Mook and principal Ollie Wittig will trade jobs and nobody will know the difference.

* 10. The Severna Park boosters will raise the money for new lights at Roberts Stadium and football coach Andy Borland will discover that the ball looks good in the air and call North County coach Chuck Markiewicz for his passing schemes.

* 11. South River High administrators will admit they made a mistake by dumping Jim Morton as girls basketball coach.

* 12. The U.S. Naval Academy, which blocked the Annapolis High School graduation ceremony on its grounds in a bad public relations move, once again will allow the Annapolis and Southern boys basketball teams to practice for the state playoffs in the Mids' Halsey Field House.

* 13. With ice hockey a successful new sport at Spalding, athletic director Domenic Pachence will make American Gladiators a varsity sport.

* 14. Broadneck principal Lawrence Knight will renew his Lawn Pro policy for the fall just in case the Severna Park boys soccer team beats the Bruins again.

* 15. After Broadneck athletic director Ken Kazmarek welcomes his first 15 German athletic transfers for '93, the Bruins will be reclassified 4A and not drop to 3A, after all. The school was 15 students short of the 4A enrollment requirement.

* 16. Ex-Meade assistant coach Brad Wilson will land the football job at Meade, a job he has coveted for years, and the Mustangs' football program and the North County boys basketball team will profit.

* 17. Round One boxing promoter Victoria Savaliski will announce that Josh Hall and Frank Gilbert will duke it out in an eight-round main event on the Jan. 14 show at Michael's Eighth Avenue.

* 18. Matchmaker Josh Hall will show up at Michael's on Jan. 14 wearing a tux and knock out the first person who says he resembles Max Kisner.

* 19. Linthicum's Chuck "Baldy" More, the boxing-wrestling promoter who has a knack for getting his picture in the paper for the most bizarre reasons, will be named promotions director for the Bob Rodriguez B and A Bike Trail Sports Palace.

* 20. There will be an Elvis sighting at Henny Mack's Tavern in Glen Burnie, and fans will be disappointed to know it was only Greg "Nuke Laloosh" Arnold of "Bull Durham" fame.

* 21. Arnold, an ex-Baltimore Orioles minor-league pitcher, and John Stefero, ex-big league catcher, both Glen Burnie residents, will form a conglomerate of local businessmen to buy the Orioles from Eli S. Jacobs. The group will include: Tommy Mayo, Bob Rodriguez, Tony Wildt, Dean Albany, Marvin Mandel, Ray Young, Tom Hollywood, Al Widmann, Paul Chaos, Johnny Venezoulis, Bill Frei, Huck Knight, Clem King, George "Wacko" Kelch, Frenchy Letan, John Boring and Mike Gunther.

* 22. Arundel athletic director and head baseball coach Bernie Walter will refuse to retire in order to have the Wildcats' baseball stadium named after him.

* 23. The Lew Holmes-Dave Conrad feud over who should call the shots for the Friends of Joe Cannon Committee will escalate and one of them will break away to form the Enemies of Joe Cannon Committee.

* 24. The Anne Arundel County Sports Hall of Fame Committee will send Annapolis assistant football coach Bill Phebus baseball cards of the two Jims, Spencer and Traber, so he will know which one he played high school baseball against.

* 25. Looking to fill a night of boxing, ESPN and USA networks will send a camera crew to Joe Cannon Stadium for a Chesapeake Seniors baseball game.

* 26. The Anne Arundel Amateur Baseball Association, which presents a personality award called "Man of the Year" (no Woman of the Year, despite all that the mothers do for amateur baseball) will admit its bylaws are the same as the Anne Arundel High School Coaches Association -- don't think about honoring a woman!

The Coaches Association never has presented its prestigious Steve Carroll Award for contributions to county athletics to a woman.

* 27. Finally, ex-Congressman, ex-pro basketball player Tom "Looking for Something to Do" McMillen will be named county coordinator of physical education because it takes a politician to deal with the school board.

Happy New Year!

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