New Seasonal Favorites from the OK Chorale

RICK HOROWITZ

December 22, 1992|By RICK HOROWITZ

Deck The Halls and start name-dropping,

Sha-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,

But beware of total flopping,

Sha-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la,

If you want to make the Gala,

Sha-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la,

Better say it right: Sha-la-la,

Sha-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la.

Windsor Castle is an open fire,

Chuck and Di are up in smoke,

Even Elizabeth seems to perspire,

The tabloids make it all a joke,

Ordinary folk like watching what the

royals do,

Helps them through their dreary lives,

Now -- what a blow! -- they start pitying

you,

The scandals and the sharpened knives.

O Summitry, O Summitry,

You spend the hours convening,

Economy and treasury,

Technology and subsidy,

O Summitry, O Summitry,

Why do my eyes glaze over?

Schottzie the Red knows ''Niggers,''

''Money-grubbing Jews'' and ''Japs,''

Running a big-league ballclub,

These are minor handicaps.

All of the other owners,

Turn away their heads in shame,

Hard to know just how many

Deep down under feel the same. . . .

I Saw Someone Kissing Fergie's Toes,

Lying on the beach so sunny bright,

She didn't make him stop,

She didn't call a cop,

She wasn't even angry,

She'd already blown her top. . . .

O Little Rock of Arkansas,

How suave we see thou art,

The insults we had mouthed so long,

They came not from our heart.

Thy manner, style and beauty

Are just what we would choose,

Imagine our surprise to learn

You people all wear shoes.

We Three Kings of Late-Night TV,

Doing battle profitably,

Dave, Arsenio, and Jay Leno,

Who will the next one be?

Oh, oh . . .

Carvey wonders, Carvey frets,

Carvey threatens, Carvey gets,

Imitation, adulation --

Gentlemen, place your bets.

Ozone Torn Apart on High,

Spotted owls are left to die,

Just one way to make it end,

Only one man fights the trend:

Go-o-o-o-o-o,o-o-o-o-o,o-o-o-o

Gore-ia,

Stronger EPA -- oh!

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