Transition, please

Art Buchwald

December 14, 1992|By Art Buchwald

BILL Clinton's transition team has been inundated with resumes from people hoping to find employment in his administration. The mail comes from every sector of society.

Dear Sir,

I respectfuly reqwest a job in your aministration.

I would like to work in edacation which is my specialty.

I have a masters degree in English litarature and bachelors diploma in politacal sience. I beleive I can contribute imensly to the edacation of our children because I have a lot of good ideas about the national coriculum.

Sincerely, Ken Hempstead

Dear Sir,

I have been an admirer of President Clinton's for 20 years -- long before he became famous. My sister used to keep a scrapbook on him from the time he protested the Vietnam War in London. I would like to work for President Clinton, not only because I believe in what he stands for, but I need a job.

Sincerely, Julann Griffin

To Whom It May Concern in the Transition Team,

I am sending you my resume hoping that you are looking for someone to work in the Department of Health who doesn't smoke.

Yours truly, Dumbarton Oaks

Dear Vernon Jordan,

You don't know me and I don't know you, so if you gave me a job there would be no conflict of interest.

I would consider an ambassadorship to a small country such as Barbados or a position managing our space program. If there are no openings there, would you put me down for a high-level job as a bus driver for one of President Clinton's trips?

Sincerely, Alex Ormond

Dear Sir,

I know that it's strange to receive an application from someone in the Bush administration, but I believe that I could be of great service to the president because I'm willing to blow the whistle on the whole rotten Republican crowd in exchange for a job.

Whatever you think they did is nothing compared to what they really did. I should know -- I worked in the passport division.

Sincerely, Georgina Tearduct

Gentlemen,

Binky Trueblood, the state chairman of the Clinton-Gore election committee, told me in October that if I could persuade Wild Boar County to vote the Democratic ticket he would get me a job in Washington. I delivered, but now Binky won't take my calls. You can imagine how frustrating this is for me because I sold my hardware business and my house and gave away my daughter's cat.

Sincerely, Bruce Shirk

Dear Transition Team,

Would you kindly send me a list of the political jobs available in the Clinton administration including what they pay and if housing and transportation go with them? I'm thinking of making a change and am giving consideration to working for your administration in one of the departments that do favors for the private sector. If need be, I'll put my children in a blind trust.

Your humble servant,

Anne Keiser

Dear Sir,

If you give my son a job I'll see to it that Chelsea Clinton never wants for M&Ms again.

Sincerely,

Charlie Davis.

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