Top Ten Signs You're On A Bad Cruise

December 07, 1992

10. Larry Czonka keeps hogging the exercycle.

9. There are always barnacles in your pants. ("Is that a bad thing, really, when you think about it?")

8. Strolling the deck one night, you notice hundred of rats frantically diving off ship.

7. You hit an iceberg and many die.

6. The entertainment provided is old "Knight Rider" tapes.

5. When you get three miles out, the captain yells, "Let's kill us some whales!"

4. Puerto Vallarta looks a lot more like Newark than in the brochure.

3. You wake up wearing Gavin Macleod's underwear.

2. Navigation chart is a place mat from Red Lobster.

1. Everywhere you look -- Kathie Lee.

(From the "Late Night with David Letterman" home office in Tahlequah, Okla.)

Baltimore Sun Articles
Please note the green-lined linked article text has been applied commercially without any involvement from our newsroom editors, reporters or any other editorial staff.