Things to be thankful for, and more

MICHAEL OLESKER

November 26, 1992|By MICHAEL OLESKER

So many things for which to give thanks, and so little time to do it.

What, again?

Yes, again!

It's time for this column's 17th consecutive list of Things to Be Thankful For -- our annual (and occasionally sarcastic) counting of our blessings before the first of the drumsticks and the last of the Alka Seltzer fizzies.

To wit:

Be Thankful if Eli Jacobs manages to get his finances in order. (You've been staying awake nights worrying about that one, haven't you?) Otherwise, how does the name Mercantile Trust Orioles strike you? Or, the Repo Orioles?

Be Thankful Marvin Mandel got a job as a medical lobbyist. Who better to perform surgery on a piece of legislation than the former governor?

Be Thankful City Comptroller Jackie McLean hired a public relations person to tell us all the good things she's doing for Baltimore. Now McLean can drive around town searching for a few in the new luxury car she bought for herself with city funds.

Be Thankful you didn't tell William Donald Schaefer, "Why don't you endorse George Bush? When he beats Clinton, everybody will think you're a political visionary, and they'll love you the way they used to love you."

Be Thankful, if you live in the Cub Hill area of Baltimore County, that you don't send your children out to play during the Hickey School's breakout season.

Be Thankful the pro basketball Bullets show up occasionally at the place we used to call the Civic Center. It's nice to visit your memories of Earl Monroe and Gus Johnson and a young center named Wes Unseld, even though the current Bullets couldn't play on the same court with those old guys.

Be Thankful the state parole board's taking mercy on Jeffrey Levitt. Don't you wish Jeffrey had taken as much mercy on the depositors at Old Court Savings and Loan?

Be Thankful Debby Krohn got word the other day that she'd passed the Maryland Bar Exam -- a month after she'd been

informed she'd flunked. Krohn's first legal act should be suing the morons who almost gave her heart failure.

Be Thankful if Blue Cross is looking out for your health problems better than they looked out for their own corporate health.

Be Thankful if you were absent when Morgan State football players passed around that sheet urging the firing of Coach Ricky Diggs. Isn't it amazing about football coaches? When they win, they're called builders of character. When they lose, they're called insensitive and abusive. And it's the same guy, with the same personality.

Be Thankful the Orioles are lowering the price of those awful left field seats -- even though the ballclub seems to have missed the point. The seats are too much at any price if you can't see the game from them.

Be Thankful if you called the Motor Vehicle Administration, and ,, you found the right person before your license expired.

Be Thankful that a hundred people protested outside Ice-T's concert this week in College Park. The rap singer's entitled to do his song "Cop Killer." But, by the same freedom of expression, protesters are entitled to say they find the song hateful and repugnant.

Be Thankful for decades of Thanksgiving Day City-Poly games on 33rd Street. Be unthankful that today's is the last game they'll play on Turkey Day, since city public schools have joined a state athletic association. Be thankful this last Thanksgiving game pits the No. 1 and No. 2 teams in town.

Be Thankful you didn't design either of the ad campaigns in the Wayne Gilchrest-Tom McMillen congressional fight. Didn't matter who won this one. The voters lost every time they turned on their television sets.

Be Thankful if you're not in a state university now, where cutbacks have made getting the classes you need to graduate a kind of layaway plan for the future. This is an education? Yeah, an education in frustration.

Be Thankful the Indianapolis pro football team is having another crummy year. Even though the club is no longer Baltimore's, it's nice that Bob Irsay's brought his legacy of incompetence and defeat to a city that deserves it.

Be Thankful today is just another day at the office for Bea Gaddy. She brings Thanksgiving to those around her every day of the year.

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